My Son Has Discovered Figure Skating

Photo: USA Today Sports

Photo: USA Today Sports

In mid-January, one of my friends posted on my Facebook wall:

Friend:  I was watching that viral video of Jason Brown ice skating, and I had this sudden realization that your son is about to experience Olympic-level ice skating.

Me: He doesn’t even know what he’s in for. I am ridiculously excited.

Friend: It’s gonna be life-changing.

My friend was right — probably because if he lived closer and were 30 years younger, he and C.J. would be inseparable and a fierce force to be reckoned with.

I waited weeks for the Olympics to get underway and set the DVR to record.  Over the weekend, Matt and I sat down with our sons to watch the games.

Chase loved the snowboarding and skiing events.  C.J. only loved them when somebody crashed.   Which is rude, but honest, I guess.

When figure skating came on, I watched C.J.

“Is this still the Olympics?” he asked confused.  How could we have possibly gone from barreling down a mountain on a board to dancing gracefully on glimmering ice?

We were watching Meryl Davis and Charlie White compete for the U.S.

“Are they in love?” C.J. asked me.

“I have no idea.”

“If they kiss we’ll know for sure that they are in love,” he assured me.  They never kissed.  They must not be in love.

Photo: Ottowa Sun

Photo: Ottowa Sun

We watched Canada’s Kaetlyn Osmond perform.

“She’s really good,” I said when she was finished.  Stating the obvious.

“Well, she’s 18, what do you expect?!” he said as he turned to give me an exasperated look.  When he took his eyes off of the screen the judges delivered her results.

“Go back, go back, go back!  I want to see her skirt and her score!”

I grabbed my laptop and pulled up the video of Jason Brown’s long program at the U.S. National Championships last month.

“Wait.  A.  Minute.  I love his ponytail and glitter costume.  I like his style,” C.J. exclaimed.

He watched the video, entranced for seven minutes and 22 seconds.  At one point he was clapping as he watched.

“What are they throwing at him?!” he asked at the end.

“Flowers.”

“Why?”

“Cause they liked him so much.”

“Awwwwwwwwweeeeeee…….”

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

At night, while C.J. was in bed, I watched Jason Brown skate the same performance at the Olympics.  It was perfect, except that he had a small fall.  My heart broke, for Jason and my son.

The next night C.J. wanted to watch Jason Brown at the Olympics, so I turned it on.  C.J. watched the television and I watched C.J.

Jason fell.

“What?  What was that?!  What just happened?  Was that part of the routine?” C.J asked not taking his eyes off of the screen.

“No, he fell.  And, then he picked himself up and kept on going.

“Well, it’s okay, maybe nobody noticed.  Yeah, maybe nobody noticed.  Maybe everybody thought that was one of his fancy tricks,” C.J. said trying assure himself that everything was going to be okay.

It was time for Jason’s score.  153 point something.

“Well that’s good.  Anything over 100 is really good because 100 is a lot.” C.J.’s hand was on his chest in relief.  We know nothing about figure skating scoring, but Jason was smiling and seemed happy so we were too.

My friend Nerdy Apple sent us a video of Jason Brown skating at the Olympics with fart noises strategically overlaid.  Farting Figure Skating.  I tried to show it to only Chase, but Chase was laughing so loudly that nosey C.J. came running downstairs inquiring about what was so funny.

“Show him, show him, you’ve got to show him!” Chase said through a crying, pee-your-pants laughter.

I showed C.J.

“Is that for real?  Was he farting the whole time?” he asked very seriously.

“No, it’s a joke.  He wasn’t farting.”

It took a minute for him to accept it and get over the shock.  Then he smiled.

“Play it again,” he said.

I did and he laughed too.   A fart joke aficionado, C.J. now loves Jason Brown even more.

About raisingmyrainbow

RaisingMyRainbow.com is a blog about the adventures in raising a fabulous, gender creative son.
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26 Responses to My Son Has Discovered Figure Skating

  1. I loved Jason Brown’s Nationals routine, too, but I also enjoyed that Sage guy who slopestyle snowboarded – whatever that is! – and I must confess to being a Curling Nerd going back more than ten years. According to Twitter, it was the most Tweeted about sport! (Facebook said they got more Hockey comments.)

  2. Jessi says:

    Jason Brown is a wonderful person- a great skater, set a goal to make sure to finish high school before moving for skating, has stayed with the same coach his whole life despite pressure to move to a ‘better’ coach, and just seems so down to Earth in interviews- he’s a great role model for your son.

    Figure skating is such a fun sport. Maybe C.J. will end up skating himself! He might be upset that if he competes men are not allowed to wear a skirt though. But there is no limit on the sparkle!

  3. Pingback: My Son Has Discovered Figure Skating And Jason Brown | Macedonian Gay

  4. When I was young, and the 1976 Winter Olympics were on, I watched with awe as John Curry skated. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Curry Even when he was just doing the compulsory figures, he was beautiful to watch. Even doing the simplest turn or move, he did it perfectly and with such grace. And he did everything cleanly, without unnecessary flourishes, and made figure skating his own.

  5. Spydermonkey says:

    I’ve spent a lot of time watching the great skaters, But I never had Ice to skate on growing up… Then I found Inline skates :) ! ¡ Now I can skate like the ice skaters where ever I want, What ever the Temp. (as long as the weather isn’t Like this week *berrrr*

  6. Andy in Thailand says:

    Go awesome family.
    There is nothing better than a fart joke…at 67 years not months.
    Chase and CJ…and you, the parents, the best. Made me laugh out loud.

  7. Lady Lilith says:

    Your son sounds really adorable.

  8. Kylie Ball says:

    Oh Lori! My CJ is in Heaven too! He knows nothing about figure skating (We dont get much snow or ice down here in OZ). He is desperate now to take Figure Skating lessons, because he said he saw “Peppa and George on Peppa Pig and they could do it!” Well, the closest sakting centre is one hour and many dollars away from possible for us, so we will have to find a compromise, but to see everything he loves ( glitter, grace, romance, music, dancing, elegance…), all wrapped up in one neat (and the best in the world level) parcel, really has his heart dancing too! Thanks for sharing. xx

  9. Anonymous says:

    Awww, he could take figure skating lessons! And he wouldn’t be the only boy. My brother did and then a friend in high school did partner skating competitively.

  10. Pippa Pirrip says:

    If you can, I would suggest looking up videos of Johnny Weir from last time (he’s doing commentary this go round.) 4 years ago, I dubbed him Johnny Fabulous because he’s exactly that: Fabulous! He’s fabulously talented, fabulously attired (on & off the ice) & has a fabulous attitude. I adore everything about him.

    Here’s his (winning) Improv Ice performance from 2011. CJ will -love- this outfit! (How could anyone not???)

    • scientiste says:

      Agreed! I love Johnny Weir!

    • Mark J says:

      Hate to get all political, but Mr. Weir has been an apologist for the anti-gay laws and policies of Russia. The gender-bending Mr. Weir has continued to support the thugs in Russia as they beat up and molest gender non-conforming men (no women that I know of). As the Russian police stand idly by turn blind eye and the Russian legislature outlaws homosexuality, Mr. Weir calmly states that he has no problem with it all.

      Shame.

      • Pippa Pirrip says:

        Really??? I had no idea. I honestly haven’t watched anything from the games this year as my own (small, so very small) protest against the anti-gay laws in Russia. I’ve seen photos of him there, but all I knew was that he was doing some kind of commentary. That is a shame, I’m sad to hear it.

  11. lori says:

    he is so cute !! my son loves skating also. he wants a outfit for himself !! these boys have great views!!

  12. Dan Woog says:

    Time to dig up an old Johnny Weir video!

  13. kaden says:

    Show CJ some of Johnny Weirs figure skating routeins, he will love Johnny (who is now the commentator for NBCs coverage of the ice skating and is known for doing gentle and creative routeins and fighting against the notion that figure skating for men is all about power and big jumps, I think his story could be something CJ really connects to and CJ will go mad for his fashion sense on and off the ice)

  14. urbanmythcafe says:

    This is your nicest post ever.

  15. Does he like ballet? I love Matthew Bourne’s Nutcracker! and his Sleeping Beauty. I think CJ might like them too. They are available on DVD.

  16. pepibebe says:

    What a perfect role model for him! A guy who has a pony tail, wears fabulous glittery outfits and has found his niche to huge acclaim.

  17. NotoriousDSG says:

    Figure skating and fart jokes?!?!? Just when I think you and your kids couldn’t get any more awesome…

    • 'Angela' (John) says:

      You had me laughing out loud too. You show CJ to be so extraordinary, and at the same time so ordinary ‘kid next door’, and I admire the way that you maintain that balance. It’s exactly right.

  18. Lance says:

    My mom hasn’t caught up on the skating, which she loves so much. She’s gonna be crushed when she sees that he fell.

  19. Awww your son is soooo damn cute! He has such a big heart! I love him and never even met him! He’s gonna grow up with the nicest personality! Everyone’s gonna love him!

  20. Awww your son is soooo damn cute! He has such a big heart!

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