Happy Thanksgiving week!
Among the many things that I am grateful for are this blog and its readers.
C.J.’s Brother is thankful for his family, his house and his video games.
C.J. is thankful for his dolls, his grandma and grandpa, his other grandma and grandpa and lights so he doesn’t fall down in the dark…especially when he is wearing high heels.
C.J.’s sassy turkey.
I’ve had a few families contact me recently asking for help in finding gender nonconforming families in their area. So, if your child is gender nonconforming or LGBTQ and you live in Western Massachusetts or the greater Seattle area of Washington, please email me at raisingmyrainbow@gmail.com so that I can set you up on a potential playdate.
I want to start helping more families connect, so if you are looking for another gender nonconforming family in your area, please email me with your location so that I can get to work. This could be fun; I just have to figure out how to do it in a way that is safe and secure for everybody. My wheels are turning.
Now, it’s time for a giveaway!
I recently read two children’s books that were written for gender-independent kids and families that some of you may enjoy.
THE ADVENTURES OF TULIP, BIRTHDAY WISH FAIRY follows title-character Tulip as he deals with the birthday wishes of all the nine-year-olds in North America. Tulip receives a wish from a child known as David who wishes to live as Daniela. He doesn’t understand how to help, so he seeks the wise counsel of the Wish Fairy Captain and learns some new Wish Fairy Skills (while also introducing the concept of trans-identified children in a friendly, sympathetic way).
BACKWARDS DAY, set on the planet Tenalp, introduces us to a world where there are seventeen seasons, including one where bubblegum falls from the sky for three days and a single day when everything – everything everywhere – is backwards. Andrea looks eagerly forward to Backwards Day every year, so she can turn into a boy for the day. But one year she doesn’t turn along with everyone else. She’s miserable. The very next day, however, she turns into a boy – and stays that way!
To enter to win one copy of each book, leave a comment at the end of this post letting me know which gender or LGBTQ organization(s) you are most thankful for. A winner will be selected randomly by C.J.
And, finally, I try to stay on topic here, as much as I struggle to do so in real life. But, allow me to digress for a moment. I was recently sent a link to Neil Patrick Harris’s new web series titled “Neil’s Puppet Dreams.” Neil Patrick Harris and The Jim Henson Company together? Please, what could be better? This is going to be huge. Watch it….but not with the kids around.
Raising My Rainbow 
I am thankful for My Purple Umbrella for providing a safe bully free playgroup, awesome projects and some Fabulous Kids!
Tacoma WA
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Just finished reading your blog from beginning to end, having accidentally stumbled across the “My Son Wears Girl Pajamas” entry (posted on June 16, 2012) when researching what my partner could wear to school for Pyjama Day (she’s a primary school teacher).
I think you have the most fantastic family ever, and both of your sons are incredibly lucky to have you and C.J.’s dad as parents. Your adventures have had me both giggling and crying (sometimes at the same time). I cannot imagine how tough your everyday lives must be sometimes, and I cannot believe how unfair that is; that C.J. can’t just be C.J., and that you all have to deal with the injustice of narrow-minded and cruel people.
But thanks to you and the rest of the family, C.J. can be himself, and is sure to develop into a balanced, happy individual. And I think that is the most fabulous thing ever!
I’m thankful for Wipeout Homophobia and Wipeout Transphobia on Facebook. They grew from pretty much nothing and are doing a great job of stopping hate speech on social media which I think is so important for LGBTQ teens. Just today I saw this picture on their feed and thought of you and CJ. =)
*ahem* I hereby nominate you for the Sunshine Award! Please consult this page for more [http://runesandrhinestones.wordpress.com/2012/11/23/sunshine-award-time-to-procrastinate/]
Again, I know. Your blog is really good, okay?
I’m thankful for Camp Ten Trees, a camp for lgbtq (most definitely including gender-creative/gender-fabulous people) and allied kids / kids from lgbtq families that I attended last summer! (C.J. would absolutely love it in a couple years when he’s old enough) camptentrees.org
I’m thankful for QEJ, Queers for Economic Justice, which focuses on helping poor, homeless, and other vulnerable members of our community.
Just read about this gender-neutral catalog http://www.inquisitr.com/414776/boys-with-dolls-girls-with-guns-swedish-toys-r-us-publishes-gender-neutral-holiday-catalog/
http://www.upworthy.com/move-over-barbie-8212-youre-obsolete?g=3
This strikes me as something CJ might enjoy for Christmas.
I’m not interested in the giveaway, I just wanted to say how thankful your readers are for you and C.J. Oh, and that video is AWESOME! I am so happy/snorting/LMAO right now – thank you!
I’m most thankful for HRC, and for all of the small groups in ME, MD, MN, and WA that worked so hard leading up to this past election to have their bills pass (or not pass) in support of LGBTQ equality.
Awesome books!
What a great giveaway! The books look awesome. We’re really thankful for GLAAD this year. My partner is transgendered, and we had a lot of problems with her work this year. GLAAD partnered us up with a local lawyer, who helped up with a lot of support (and paperwork!) Our GLAAD rep still checks in on us from time to time (on weekends, when he’s not in the office!), just to make sure things are still going ok. We have so much to thank them for.
What a great giveaway! The books look awesome. We’re really thankful for GLAAD this year. My partner is transgendered, and we had a lot of problems with her work this year. GLAAD partnered us up with a local lawyer, who helped up with a lot of support (and paperwork!) Our GLAAD rep still checks in on us from time to time (on weekends, when he’s not in the office!), just to make sure things are still going ok. We have so much to thank them for.
Well, I’m a bit ashamed to say I don’t know that many groups. I was quite thankful for the Gay Straight Alliance that we lobbied for (and got) in high school, it was a safe place for a lot of my friends and myself to go that we could create a happy and healthy environment for everyone, regardless of their orientation or situation.
I would really love either of these books as a great teaching tool for my kids. We share a passion of reading, and a story is a simple way to introduce topics such as this to kids and teach them acceptance and understanding at a young age. Thanks!
I am grateful for Dreams of Hope, which is a small performing arts troupe for queer youth and their allies. I think this organization is the only one of its kind in the country, and we are very lucky to have it in our city. The youth (ages 13-21) work with local artists to create an original show each year, and they perform it at various venues to educate their audiences.
My gender-independent daughters (I really like this term!) found community in this group. It was so important to them to have the support of a community of other LGBTQ youth who understood and accepted them. At the same time, performing in Dreams of Hope introduced them to the wider LGBTQ community, which embraced them so lovingly. They gained a level of security and confidence they might not otherwise have had.
I am most thankful for HRC, Equality MD and The Trevor Project this year.
The organization I’m thankful for is Genderfork. It is such a wonderful home base, especially for people first finding words to describe themselves as so much more than an F or M check box. The community has grown to include Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook offshoots, as well as side projects such as a forum for readers and a sibling project called the Genderplayful Marketplace (think etsy for all stripes of identity/clothing combos). The photos and quotes and profiles shared by Genderfork readers are a humbling testament to the beautiful gender diversity of our species.
Also, the NPH clip is wonderful.
I am most thankful for the Human Rights Campaign and my college’s Queer-Straight-Alliance (QSA). Although we are a small liberal arts college in rural Pennsylvania, we are a group or progressive individuals. It is by far the most loving and safe environment I have ever found, providing the support my family is incapable of giving.
I just love this blog and think it’s great you’re giving away these books! I’m not entering the contest, but wanted to contribute that I’m grateful to my openly gay friends…that my child will know them and know them as being as normal as her parents. I had no diversity growing up and I think that kind of sheltering creates unnecessary fear….thanks for all of your great posts! I always enjoy them!
I am grateful for a friend who was the first adult I told about being gay. I was a freshman in high school.
Although she is not a “resource”, she does run a daycare and welcomes all children. I know she would love to have been a part of CJs life when he was younger.
You should try to find a copy of Pepito’s Story by Eugene Fern about a little boy who is different and he is made fun of by the other children. it’s a beautiful story of a boy who does not fit in. Marcia
Happy Thanksgiving! I love your blog and today you made my day. I didn’t know about “The adventures of Tulip” and it sounds like a history based on my life. In fact, I used to be David and, at some point, I went by the name of Daniela. Nevertheless, I decided Dania fitted me best. Anyway, I’ll look around to see if I can find the book. Thanks!
Living in the deep south, there are not a whole lot of LGBTQ resources. However, I have been very impressed with how open minded all of our family and friends have been as we raise our kids in a gender non-conforming way. When my son comes out twirling in a dress, he is *mostly* accepted and is allowed to explore whatever interests he has at the time whether it be superheroes or dressing up as rainbow dash from my little pony for Halloween. I am thankful for a changing world where I hope to see more acceptance as we continue to diversify.
Hello!
I don’t know if you already heard this but In Sweden where I come from its starting to become popular to raise your children in what we call a non-genderd or “gender free” way which means that you try not to forcing or promoting the child in to a narrow gender-role but to let them be as free as possible to make decision on what kind of toys they want to play with and how they want to dress etc, regardless of the child showing signs of being gender-creative or not. There’s even a book about this called “Ge ditt barn 100 möjligheter i stället för två” meaning “Give your child a hundred possibilities instead of two”. There are also two children’s book publisher specializing in children’s books that do not follow gender norms, such as a books about girls who loves monsters, one about a boy who wants to dress in a pink dress, two male giraffes who want to adopt children together, girls who are active and boys showing emotions, etc.
Many people, however, opposed to this trend and says that it “does not let girls be girls and boys be boys”.
It would be interesting to know how people in other countries, such as America, who belong to the LGBT movement and / or have gender-creative children think about this phenomenon.
Links to said book publishers:
http://www.olika.nu/
http://www.sagoliktbokforlag.se/
I live in western MA! While my child is too young to be gender conforming or nonconforming or LGBTQ (she’s only 12 months old), we are doing our best to raise her gender-neutral in as many ways as we can so she can figure out on her own what her gender is, when she’s ready. My husband is an FTM transman, which is one of the reasons we are so aware of gender already. We’d be happy to talk to other local families about gender and kids. 🙂
I have not become familiar with any local groups for young children yet but know of groups for adults so I’m confident they can point me in the right direction. I’m actually entering this contest as a kindergarten teacher. In the past 3 years I have had 2 different families each with a daughter who live their lives as boys. As a teacher I always want to be 100% supportive of my families and to make sure my students learn to accept everyone. Thanks for the book titles – I have books in my classroom about special needs children and books by Todd Parr on different families but I’m realizing I need to expand my library. Keep up with this blog – it’s amazing to read.
I’m thankful for Laura’s Playground. They are an excellent resource for support of folks under the transgender umbrella, along with parents of Trans/nonconforming kids, significant others, and including teens to older adults in well moderated forums and chats, including a suicide prevention help chat with trained moderators, and lots of links to where to find other resources and IRL help/support. They help a lot of folks who lack family support or who live in places where there’s no IRL support nearby.
Today, one thing I’m thankful for is your blog and (most of!) the replies. Makes me glad to know good folks are around! Love the networking you’re doing, too – that’s the sort of thing that can make a huge, wonderful difference for a kid! Hope that idea grows! Hugs to you and yours, always.
Happy Thanksgiving!
While I never had the chance to get into PFLAG, I’m so glad it exists. I’m also very grateful to Dan Savage for his It Gets Better project.
My daughter would love either of these books.
I’m not trying to enter the contest, (there are families who need the books; as a gay adult woman, I’d rather see them go to a child–and also, I live overseas) but I was thinking it might be time for you to join forces with other bloggers who write about gender creativity and launch a third site dedicated to connecting people. I’m not suggesting anything on a facebook-like scale, just some sort of interactive map. People click on a state or country, narrow it down by city or region, and get led to a corresponding forum, where they can meet “neighbors” with similar family setups. If it’s a site that allows users to sign up, (choose member names, etc.) then they can choose if/when to exchange real personal information with another member. Just a thought. 🙂
You could ask around and see if there’s an LGBTQI or ally computer science student who wants to run it. (They often have to create websites school for projects.) Kickstarter or a similar crowd-funding site could help raise funds to run the thing. If you share the workload with other like-minded bloggers, it might not take too much time from your personal schedules…..
I’m Thankful for PFLAG of Memphis TN because without them I would feel alone. Also i’m thankful for the trvor project without them I would not have been alive.
I am grateful for the Q Center in Portland, OR.
And SMYRC!
I am thankful for the GLBT Resource Center at Texas A&M University. In an area where conservative values are revered and people who are different can find it hard just to exist, they have created a safe place for a vibrant community of the most welcoming and loving people I have ever had the privilege to meet. It is also the place I first met a gender nonconforming child of and I was so excited to mentioned your blog to their mother, a professor at the university. I had just come across it and I have been a faithful reader ever since. The center has a library of LGBT books, including some children’s books, that are made available to everyone in the community and I think your books would be a great addition.
Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for you and your blog. Reading about your experiences has prepared me for numerous situations that my son is now encountering as a 5 yr old. Such as the days he has worn pink attire or his flowery pjs to school. And the day we went to a church event and the very rude lady repeatedly told him that he doesn’t like barbie. So thank you. Thank you for making these experiences easier for me to deal with. Thank you for being you.
Im thankful for Pinwheels a gender non-conforming support group in Arlington Height Illinois, that allows parents and their children to connect with other families. They get together every month and has helped my friend and her loving child so much.
I am thankful for the “Freedom Centre” here in my town in Australia. They are a LGBTQ centre for 15-26 year olds. As my son is only 5 he does not fit with their demographic, but it is the closet we have here. After ah hoc correspondence for the past year, recently they hosted an u/18 trans kids night for the kids and their parents. We now have formed a small group (7 families) with young trans kids. Without the freedom centre, I never would have found some peer support.
Sofia wants CJ to know she really likes his Sassy Turkey!
http://www.sewingdiversitytogether.org/ Is my favorite. We did a Transgender Day of Remembrance event the other day and had Planned Parenthood speakers come in and train on gender creative peeps.
I hope the effort to get the families together works out. It’s the little grassroots efforts like that that may well changes lives. Good for you!
Would love to find copies of the books for my sons kindergarten class. His school is very excited to be able to introduce kids at the early age to the concept of diversity. My partner and I volunteer at his school and his teachers have taken the opportunity to talk to the kids about glbt and gender nonconformity families.
I’m thankful for so many organizations, but for now I think I’ll go with the most visible, HRC. We would love to own one of those books!
Thank you for the NP Harris video! That was so funny.
Here in the Bay Area we have many organizations that are directed this way. My daughter spent a lot of time in a place called Pacific Center on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley CA. She felt very welcome there and later was able to volunteer on a few levels to pay it forward.
I remember visiting there when I was 17. Glad to hear they’re still around!
I am so thankful for the Boulder PFLAG group who hosts our TYES (Trans Youth Education and Support of Colorado) group. I am so so thankful for TYES as we navigate life with a gender non conforming child. Also, for those looking for resources, refer them to Trans Youth Family Allies (TYFA) in which they can connect with others in their area: http://imatyfa.org/. Thanks for doing the giveaway! Fingers crossed 🙂