I’m in love with a book. A few months ago I was given a sneak peek of Al Vernacchio’s book For Goodness Sex and I was so thankful for it, that I wrote a blurb for the book’s back jacket cover.
Here’s my blurb:
At last a book that teaches parents how to talk to kids about sex in a way that is based healthily in reality and not fearfully in doom and gloom. I wish my parents had read this book! Vernacchio is smart, funny and offers parents everything they need to know to comfortably move away from the abstinence-based sex education of the generations that came before us. His lessons do not discriminate and can be practically applied to any gender and any orientation, helping to support all types of families.
I had been looking for some tips for talking to my kids about sex that 1.) didn’t assume their sexuality and 2.) weren’t abstinence based. This book is it.
Here’s a description of the book:
A progressive, effective, and responsible approach to sex education for parents and teens that challenges traditional teaching models and instead embraces 21st century realities by promoting healthy sexuality, values, and body image in young people.
Sex education today generally falls into one of two categories: abstinence-only or abstinence-based education—both of which tend to withhold important, factual information and leave young adults ill-equipped to make safe decisions. Al Vernacchio, a high school sexuality educator who holds a Master’s degree in Human Sexuality from the University of Pennsylvania, has created a new category: sex-positive education.
For Goodness Sex offers the tools and insights adults need to talk young people and help them develop healthy values and safe habits. With real-life examples from the classroom, exercises and quizzes, and a wealth of sample discussions and crucial information, Vernacchio offers a guide to sex education for the twenty-first century.
Want to win a copy of the book?
Tell me a thing or two that you’re thankful for this thanksgiving season. The winner will be selected by C.J. on Monday and announced on Tuesday.
Good luck!!!!
Raising My Rainbow 
I am thankful for my family. I couldn’t be what I am without them.
I’m grateful for the chance to come halfway around the world to the US to go to college and figure out who I am as a person =)
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I’m thankful for positive new relationships in my life this year, and my little four-legged baby, Brunie.
I’m thankful for sunshine and the ocean! (and lots of other things too!)
I’m thankful for my job! I’m a nanny. I love it, and I love being able to be a part of a child’s upbringing. I love that the family I work for is also aware of gender roles and fight to unravel them. I am super thankful for my friends and family, who are always there for me. 🙂
I am very thankful I live in a place where even being a boy, I can wear big, colorful dresses and make up and glitter and I get to perform in them and use that to help other boys and girls who are like me, but who don’t have the freedom and confidence to be themselves. I am grateful I can be myself and help other people because of who I am.
I’m so thankful for a supportive family and wonderful friends. I’m nearing the end of a surrogacy pregnancy and I couldn’t have done it without them all!
I’m thankful to be sharing this beautiful world with so many amazing people who have touched my life – from my awesome family, to the troubled kids I work with, to the lady at the store I chatted with in line. Each person I meet touches me in some way. Whether they walk my path with me for an hour, a day, or years, each one helps me learn and grow.
I’m thankful to be sharing this beautiful world with so many amazing people who have touched my life – from my awesome family, to the troubled kids I work with, to the lady at the store I chatted with in line. Each person I meet touches me in some way. Whether they walk my path with me for an hour, a day, or years, each one helps me learn and grow.
I am thankful for my 6yo son who seems to manage to believe both that gender has hard and fast criteria and categories, and that those don’t apply to him. With his long blond hair he twirls and tackles in his purple velvet dresses or superman hockey sweaters depending on the day. I am thankful for my 9yo son who knew enough to ask the other day if it was sex or gender that was determined by the body. Two kids asking the right questions and making their own rules. Thankful.
I’m thankful for the shop assistant at Toys R Us on Times Sq, who, when my 5 yr old boy was devastated there were no more Elsa dolls, admitted she had kept one behind the counter for when a child really, genuinely needed one..she didn’t judge a boy wanting Elsa. Also the gay couple in a shop who surprised him by buying him the pink angel-rabbit music box I’d said was too expensive as he knelt in front of it in tears of love and longing.. And for his 8 yr old sister who tolerates having to always play ‘sisters’ and ‘princesses’, lend him her dresses, ballet shoes and make-up..and for my husband, who, although has just bought him an Anakin doll, knows in his heart he actually wants Queen Amidala!!
I’m Thankful for your blog. I’m thankful for my two smart and kind girls. I want them to be safe. I want them to be confident. I want this book to help me guide them.
I’m thanking for the ability to learn. Whether the lesson be good or bad, each lesson is worth learning. My life has taught me some valuable things that I hope to pass on to my three kids.
I am grateful that there are gay men. I know this may make me sound less thankful for bisexual men, bisexual women, trans men, gay women, asexual men, trans women, and several other categories of people, which is unfortunate. None the less, gay men, in particular, have added so much to my life, and brought so much humor, joy and grace into my world. I would hate to think what life would be without these contributions. Certainly I would find the world so much bleaker. It is strange to think about this in the context of a culture that (still) so devalues homosexuality, and homosexual people. When I think about the contributions gay men have made to my life, it is hard to fathom how we all keep from singing their praises from the rooftops. Why do we not have a national day of praise? So I am saying it here: I am so grateful that there are gay men in the world, and that my culture and my life will continue to be blessed by their presence.
I am also grateful that we have the example of Native American cultures who honored two-spirit people. In spite of the genocide of the European people who colonized this land, there are still some cultural remnants of this rich history.
I’m thankful for my awesome kids who love me unconditionally, and haven’t learned to judge people on superficial stuff. And I’m thankful the end of law school is in sight!
I am thankful for you Lori, for your acceptance of CJ, for your bravery in speaking, for making it less secret to be gender non conforming. My daughter is transgender, she transitioned in April at age 5. Your book was the first place I read about GNC. She is not the same as CJ, and at the time I read your book I didn’t know if she was or not, but I kept saying, “Yes! This woman is living my life!” over and over as I read your book at breakneck speed realizing we were not alone. So thank you for having the courage to help all of our kids!
I am thankful for my HeadStart students – I am thankful that I can expand their minds with healthy and loving information. I am thankful for their hugs the most. 🙂
I’m ever so thankful for my husband, and that most of the younger generation seems to be growing up without the stupid prejudices of the past. I’m also thankful I had a dad who, although he offered activities such as sports and hunting to me, didn’t try to push me when it turned out I either had no interest in or talent for these activities, and made it plain that he still loved me. Although we never talked about it (bad me!), I’m sure by the time he died he knew that I’m gay.
I’m thankful that I both DH and I have jobs, and that we’re going to PA for Thanksgiving. 🙂
I am so grateful that the 8th graders I teach a sexuality class to have such an open and accepting view about gender presentation and identity. And chocolate. I am really grateful for chocolate!
So excited to read this book! Two things I’m thankful for: 1. After learning about “Welcoming Schools “at a local conference(Carolina Conference on Queer Youth), I pitched the idea to my elementary school principal and just found out we will be piloting the Welcoming Schools initiative just in time for my amazing gender bender son to start kindergarten next year!! 😊 and 2. I’ve found and connected with other families in town with gender non confirming kids(I knew they were out there!!!!!) and my son can now say…”you know that other boy that likes girl stuff (insert name), yeah he xxxxxxxx…..” And this is a typical conversation started in our house now. My heart is full. We are so blessed. Love love love your blog.
I’m thankful for ‘CJ play’. Through your blog and the introduction to CJ we have been enlightened and have blurred the boundaries of gender conforming play. In our house we (2 dads with twin boys) dress up in tutus, crank up the music and free dance. It not only allows creative expression but also brings laughter to the home. We let go of out inhibitions and embrace the fabulous side of play. So thanks CJ for bringing CJ play to our home.
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I’m thankful that my Mom was asking me if I was gay when I was in 7th grade! When I answered with a resounding “NO” she only replied “Because it’s ok if you are.” I’m now 36, gay, and have a wonderful relationship with my mother. Although I often speak of the time she asked me as traumatic, I always knew she loved me no matter what! Thank you Mom and thank you Lori for being such AMAZING parents!
I am thankful for so many things my heart could just burst sometimes. Mainly that I am living my authentic life with all its ups and downs. That I have a great job working with people in mental health crisis where I feel like I make an actual difference. That I have lots of time to write and read. That I am surrounded by people I adore who also make me a little crazy : )
I am thankful that there is good sex-positive discussion going on; that there are books like yours and this one to fill my resource bag (I teach age appropriate comprehensive sex education at the 4-6 grade level); and that my own children (age 13 and 16) are championing the change in attitude, language, insisting on consent, inclusivity, and compassion.
I’m thankful for having 3 awesome children (one of each lol, the youngest is intersex.) who have taught me so much over the years. The little joys in life and the huge challenges. Being able to accept help from others without feeling shame. To know that I’m a great mum and I am loved and have lots of love to give. 🙂
I’m thankful for a husband/partner/best friend that is strong enough to support and celebrate our gender fluid child. With him by my side, I am a better mother and advocate. 🙂
I am thankful for the process that has finally made my daughter the happiest person alive, after 40+ years lving behind predijust and trying to fit in. Thanksgiving will be a coming together of family.
A huge thank you to you, Lori and CJ for the journey you have shared with us all. Many journeys have been made easier because lf you family’s love for each other.
I’m from Canada so it’s not Thanksgiving for me – but I’m still very thankful for the snow covering the ground (it’s always so exciting) and for the leftover rainbow sprinkle cake I made for my roommate’s birthday that I’m going to eat after work. (My instagram is @sepruys if you want to see the cake!)
I’m thankful for glitter (also my beautiful husband and amazing family); but mostly glitter.
Extremely thankful for loving and supportive family and friends. I’m also thankful for my trans* daughter that has taught us more about gender, love, and acceptance than we ever thought possible.
I am thankful for my husband, my son, and for your family!
Your book and your blog has helped me grow as a parent and shown me how to raise my son to be happy.
(My son would probably be thankful for the movie Frozen and his new Anna doll from Costco!)
So thankful for my three kids who teach me more and more every day.
I’m thankful for my amazing partner, our delightful daughter, and for this book recommendation – I can’t wait to read it!
I’m thankful for parents who are raising queer kids and/or raising kids queerly, and thus making the world a little safer every day for kids of all genders and orientations. Y’all give me hope! And I’m also thankful for chocolate chip cookies, sparkles, and my fabulous wife. 🙂
I’m thankful that those in my life are accepting and buy my son trucks AND dolls, and also that he’s finally POOPING ON THE POTTY =]
As the father of two great teenage boys who definitely wouldn’t be well served by a typical sex-ed curriculum (one trans, one gay) I’m sure that this book would be very useful. I’m glad to see you sharing it with your followers. As to what I’m thankful for, add my lovely wife to the afore mentioned boys and you have the top of my list.
I am thankful for finding your blog and being able to read about the issues I’m dealing with.
I am also thankful for my healthy trans daughter finding the help she needs. I love my daughter even if she isn’t the sparkly type and appreciate the fact that every gender can be anything they want to be!
Hi Lori. I went to go order the book through Amazon, and the cover is different. Both of the couples are a male with a female. I have a gay son….so naturally I liked this cover. Can you direct me????? Thank you.
I am thankful for parents that love their 25 year old son-sexuality and all. I am thankful that when my younger brother came out they were excited they had 2 gay sons. And I am also thankful for my new Boston terrier puppy Humphrey who doesn’t care about my sexuality. He just wants to lick my face!
I’m thankful for finally being able to work with trans kids (I’m a psychologist ) and beeing able to help them and their families. It’s incredible to see that so many families are ready to take on a journey that, even though they don’t know much about it, all they want is for their kids to be happy being who they are. Especially in a place like Brazil, where trans* people are just beginning to be accepted.
I’m really thankful I get to help people to be happy.
I am thankful that my children have opened my eyes to so many different ways of being “a boy” and, for that matter, how that has shown me that “a boy” is a largely meaningless term and that “a child” is far more appropriate in nearly all cases.
I am also thankful for the stack of mom-bloggers (all moms now that Accepting Dad seems to have hung up his keyboard) of gender-creative children that make my own fatherhood of my kids seem just a little bit normal.
I am so thankful for our school, neighbors, friends, family, and church who have supported my 10 year old daughter when she transitioned two years ago to her true self as a girl. I am so thankful for the love and acceptance I have received from many, like the wonderful woman (now a friend) who said upon hearing of my upcoming child’s transition from the boy she saw at the after school program to a girl “As an African American woman I am thrilled that my daughter gets to witness this and be a part of this experience”. I am thankful for the acceptance of my Guatemalan adopted daughter by the indigenous artisans I work with in my non-profit in Guatemala (although there were many animated and surprised exchanges in a language I do not understand!). I am thankful for my beautiful daughter who has taught me so much. I am thankful for the opportunities to see humanity at its best, where the power of love and respect can open one’s heart to new understandings and acceptance.
There is SOOO much to be thankful for…but the truth is that I am so thankful for my suede black boots with the furry black ruff around the tops that is so soft against my calves, and the sparkles all round the zipper and the gold flashy buckle on the side that just sings “Glamorous” by Fergie as I walk.
Best of all, they are super duper comfy! 🙂 ❤
LOVE THEM!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Charissa
I am thankful that I just finished all my chemo and that I have no more cancer. I am also thankful for my wonderful family that has been there every step of this journey. Whether I needed a shoulder to cry on or a cheerleader pushing me closer to the finish line, they have been right there. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am grateful for having another year of watching the world change.I am grateful there are parents that say, “Be who you are” and keep encouraging you until you know,who you are.
I’m thankful that my immediate family– myself, Husbeast and 14-month-old Viva– are getting a visit from my parents and grandmother for Thanksgiving, and that we will be able to travel from Boston to California to spend the holidays with Husbeast’s extended family. Our families-at-large are spread over three continents, and getting time with any of them is always something to treasure.
I am thankful for the time we have had with our wonderful old cat, and I am thankful that at this time, probably his last day, there are ways we can ease their suffering. I am thankful that his brother has been kind and gentle with him, knowing something is wrong and refraining from turfing him off the beanbag as he would normally do. I am thankful for the kind vets who booked an appointment for tomorrow and made it the last one of the morning so there would be no feeling of rushing. I am very VERY thankful that my husband will be home again tonight and we can meet this together.
I’m thankful for people like you who offers insights that are outside the tradition especially when it comes to dealing with kids. I’m single & no child & yet what you cover here in your blog has sparked questions in my mind about my future kids.
I am thankful for this blog so I feel more connected as a mom to others who “get it” and I am thankful for my wonderful NonGender conforming son and his twin brother who just love each other unconditionally!
I am thankful for recently finding your blog and book. I am thankful to have these resources for my sparkly son Easton. I want to be the best mom for him and help him navigate though life with nothing but love and support. Your book is on my Christmas List!!!
Sorry, one more thing….I am so thankful Easton has a loving and accepting father! A dad who will play lalaloopsy’s, help him in and out of his dresses and sit through his fashion shows! A dad who tells him everyday how much he loves him!
I’m thankful that my “assignment” for what to bring to Thanksgiving dinner was jello salad. It will be something with mini-marshmallows in it. I’m going to attempt cake pops that look like turkeys (candy corn tailfeathers!) but if I crash and burn, no one has to know!
I am thankful for the sunshine on this cold winter’s day but more importantly, I am thankful for my own personal sunshine. My two precious and beloved children. I’m also thankful for my husband who helps nurture our eight year old sunshine who would be utterly lost without his princesses and mermaids. I’m thankful my boy is who he is. He has taught me so much about bravery, compassion, and the person I want to be!
I am thankful for so much this holiday season, for my wonderful family, for a warm house and reliable car, for food to eat that not only nourishes but also delights, for an open and accepting church family (even in a small, rural community), and so much more. And I would love, love to win a copy of that book, as we have been having lots of discussions with my daughter about such things, and I always worry about whether I am saying the right things.
I am thankful for your blog, which informs, educates, and entertains! (and gives stuff away!)
I am thankful for CJ and his parents — and that there are far more children and parents like him in the world than there were yesterday. I am thankful that “Raising My Rainbow” — in all its platforms — reaches so many people, some of whom may not even know they need to be reached. I am thankful that I spend every Sunday afternoon leading a group of teenagers as they explore issues of sexuality (along with related issues like relationships, parents, work, school and Doctor Who). I am thankful that, as much as I lead the group, those teenagers really lead me. I am thankful that I am me, that CJ is who he is, that he has a mom and dad who are models for what all parents should be. And I am thankful that my path has crossed theirs.
I am thankful for a family that supports my son, unconditionally, for a safe place for my son to spend his days and for my fabulously sparkly son!
I’m thankful for the love and support of my husband as I finish my last year of med school! 168 days left until I’m an MD!
CONGRATULATIONS! That is soo huge, and such a worthy accomplishment! You go, grl!