My last blog post made me – again – consider this question…..
If homosexuality could be detected during pregnancy through routine blood work or standard ultrasound, what percentage of people would want to know? What percentage of people would abort?
I’d want to know because lord knows I’m a planner. I was the first to want to go to Organic Gender in Riverview, Florida to find C.J.s gender. I generally don’t like surprises, unless they are lavish gifts being showered on me with no strings attached (I also don’t like strings attached). Other than that, I always want to know what’s coming my way. I need a plan of attack. Constantly.
That’s what’s so hard about raising C.J. — because I want to know right now if he is gay. And, I can’t know that now and I most likely have more than a decade of not knowing. It will be years before I have answers to some of my most important questions I have about him. Do I need to preregister him at the performing arts high school? Do I need to look into homeschooling or online coursework to protect him from bullies? Should he graduate early from high school to head to the Paul Mitchell Schools or audition for The Groundlings? Should I be putting my preschooler on the waitlist at Parsons The New School for Design?
I’m neurotic. I know.
That’s one of the many, many fabulous things about C.J., he’s teaching me to be more patient than I’m generally programmed to be.
And, so is this blog. Thanks to the more than 1,000 people who have read my words so far. RaisingMyRainbow is on Facebook now (look at C.J.’s Mom getting all social media on you).
Find me. Like me. Muah.
Dearest CJ’s Mom, I just want to share a part of my story with you http://pflagtemeculavalley.netrootz.com/web_pages/view_web_page.asp?group=193&page=497
Cindy : )
Oh, this blog is just the best thing I’ve ever read! I’m crying! It’s beautiful! You’re beautiful! And so is your son! I haven’t read all the posts yet, so you may have answered this, but does your other son (especially if he’s older) also embrace C.J. for who he is? So proud of you and your husband! When I read that he was a former bully, I immediately thought of the fabulous bullying storyline on Glee! If you don’t watch it, you should start! There’s a new episode on tonight (2/8/11)…
Keep up the good work! Can’t wait to read more! Lots of love!
P.S. In the “About RaisingMyRainbow” box at the bottom of each post, is the name in the last sentence meant to be Paul[a] Deen?
A friend of mine turned me onto your blog, and OMG this is such a great idea! It’s so refreshing to read about someone that has such a huge heart and is blogging about such a (obviously) wonderful kid! Just enacted to let you know that I can’t wait for more entries to come 🙂
There’s a movie about this subject: “Twilight of the Golds” with Brendan Fraser, Jennifer Beales, Jack Klugman and Faye Dunaway. A terrific movie. It takes place in the future, when doctors can tell you if your fetus is gay. A woman is told she will have a gay baby and so her husband wants her to have an abortion. Her gay brother is outraged that they are considering an abortion. Worth seeing.
Thanks for the tip, I should be receiving it from Netflix soon. 🙂
The only thing that matters is allowing your son to be who he his, celebrate every milestone and kiss every bruise. He will be his own person without any plan at all. With enough love, a success and proud to be your son.
We all get bullied, we all (if allowed) follow our star. Just “be” with him through every question and answer with honesty.
Sounds like you have it all covered though!
You’ll never know until you do.
Something to think about- don’t be so quick to assume an identity for him if he is or isn’t. Some gays are soldiers, professional athletes, construction guys, cops, etc. I also know some straight men with limpy wrists or with a knack for basket weaving, dancing or scrap-booking.
Gender identity and sexuality are very different. A feminine man doesn’t necessarily mean a gay man, and visa-versa.
The only thing that matters is that this little boy has a family that loves him unconditionally. I would say that’s an excellent start.
Hey Jim –
You stated just what I was thinking. Thank you!