We All Have A Book Inside Of Us Waiting To Be Written

In June, early copies of my book arrived and I wrote a letter to introduce it to booksellers.  With the release of my book exactly one week away, I thought I’d let you read what I wrote to the people who will be selling my book. — xoxo, C.J.’s Mom

June 2013

Dear Reader,

When I was in college studying English literature, my favorite professor told the class that we all have a book inside of us waiting to be written. The thought both excited and terrified me. I pushed it to the back of my mind as I graduated, landed a corporate job, got married, and got pregnant. My first son made me a mother ten years ago. My second son will make me an author on September 3, 2013.

My professor had been right. I had a book in me; I just couldn’t know what the topic would be until I started raising a boy who is a girl at heart.

My six-year-old son C.J. is gender variant or gender nonconforming or gender creative or has gender identity disorder, whichever you prefer. As C.J. simply explains it, he is “a boy who only likes girl stuff and wants to be treated like a girl.” While my older son is a typical boy who has turned me into a Lego engineer, video gamer, and football mom, my youngest son is a unique boy who has turned me into a princess stalker, hairstyle guinea pig, and Rachel Zoe of the Barbie world.

Two and a half years ago, I started an anonymous blog called Raising My Rainbow. The first blog to chronicle the adventures in raising a fabulous, gender creative son, I started it to sort through my emotions and to connect with other parents of gender creative kids and former gender creative kids themselves. I blogged twice a week, my work became syndicated by one of the leading LGBTQ news sites, readers in more than 170 countries tuned in, and gender studies students and faculty at more than fifty college and universities have asked for more.

Now, in less than three months (one week as of today!), I’ll be sharing our lives with a broader audience with the release of my blog-inspired book, Raising My Rainbow. I’ll also come out of the blogging closet and identify myself.

The book gives a glimpse into our lives to show people that we aren’t weird—we’re just different. And different isn’t bad. Different can and does happen to anybody. Your neighbor. Your coworker. Your friend. Your enemy. You.

Raising My Rainbow is about expectations. You don’t always get what you expect when you are expecting. You expect your child’s sex and gender to align. Sometimes they don’t. You expect your male child to like traditionally male things and be physically and emotionally attracted to a woman. Sometimes that doesn’t happen. The book is also about empathy. It took a while to realize that what we want most from other people is empathy. We don’t need people to fully understand gender, sex, and sexuality; we need them to have an open heart and an open mind. Finally, the book is about the evolution of a family. Though we didn’t know it at first, when our son grabbed that first Barbie we set out on a journey of change. No one in our family is the same person he or she was four years ago. Now, I wouldn’t change this experience for anything in the world. Shamefully, I couldn’t always say that.

I recently met with that favorite college professor of mine for a glass of wine and to catch up. I wanted to tell her that she had been right. I did have a book in me—but I had to experience life and meet my Barbie-loving, dress-wearing son to know what the topic would be.

All my best, always,

Lori Duron

Pre-order the Raising My Rainbow book!



About raisingmyrainbow

RaisingMyRainbow.com is a blog about the adventures in raising a fabulous, gender creative son.
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27 Responses to We All Have A Book Inside Of Us Waiting To Be Written

  1. Cathilee Sharretts says:

    Dear Lori & Matt

    You were wonderful on the TODAY show– GREAT JOB educating people. What wonderful parents you are to both CJ & Chase!! With support & caring. Cathilee & Tim Sharretts

  2. Kelly Anderson says:

    I am a teacher in Mission Viejo, and I want to thank you for being an amazing parent, and for loving your child enough to share your story. I wish more parents were as open minded and non-judgemental as you both. I would love to follow and support you on Facebook, how can I do that?? Thank you for your time!

  3. Greg Fenton says:

    Your letter was fantastic! I just pre-ordered my copy after seeing Alon’s facebook post! Good luck!

  4. Pingback: Raising My Rainbow: Adventures in Raising a Fabulous, Gender Creative Son by Lori Duron | Fantastic Books

  5. MM says:

    great radio program about gender……
    From “to the best of our knowledge”

  6. Giselle says:

    That’s a great letter. Very well written.

    I am thoroughly looking forward to reading the book. Can’t wait!

  7. Lisa says:

    Beautifully written, as always. Your letter brought tears to my eyes as I connected with my own journey as my son was growing up. I wish I had known you then. I know I would have done things differently. We muddled through and life is good for him and for our family. Now your blog and your book is helping me to become a better teacher. Hopefully, I can be the open-minded, open-hearted teacher who supports and embraces the gender creative kids in my class. Thank you!

  8. N's Mom says:

    I preordered and cannot wait to get it. And like you said, we all need to support this book so that we can support all the kids like C.J. Including my son.

  9. I was excited to open the Read It Forward email from Random House this morning to find out that you had written a book! I stumbled across your blog awhile back and love your writing. I just ordered your book and I can’t wait to read it.

  10. Cathy says:

    I opened up the Read It Forward email from Random House this morning to find that you had written a book. I had stumbled across your blog awhile back and love your writing. I’ve ordered the book and I’m very excited to read it!

  11. You are amazing and inspiring! So happy for your fabulous family and can’t wait to read the book!

  12. Sofia says:

    Lori You’re such an inspiration and I cannot wait to read your book. I have been reading your blog for about a year now and I’m so proud of you. You’re taking life by the horns and showing CJ that anything is possible. Love is love……Thank you for sharing your son with those of us who have an open heart…….Be strong and be well………S~

  13. jvoor says:

    I love this blog and love your writing. I think that the popularity of the blog is a testament to your writing and to the connections you have made with other parents, LGBT adults, and others who are interested in your journey. So it is with all due respect that I say this next thing: this was not the first blog to look at the experience of parenting a gender creative child. There were not many pre-2010, but there were still several parents writing, for example “labels are for jars,” Sarah Hoffman writing about her “pink boy” and accepting dad, some of whom I think are in your blog roll. Again, yours is definitely one of the most popular and you write very consistently but there are others too. I have now collected a list of 34 blogs by parents of gender creative and trans kids; it’s amazing how this online community has grown in the last few years. It is also awesome that your work is being published offline too and I am excited to see where your book travels and whose lives it changes.

  14. Beautiful! I preordered mine for my Nook–the little cover greets me when I turn it on 🙂

    Still waiting to figure out what my book is….

  15. Ellen says:

    Soo excited to read it and so happy for you and your family you are changing the world in a good way!

  16. violetkeppel says:

    I would love to read your book. Is there a way to have it in Italy?
    I’m following you since the beginning! 🙂

  17. Matt O'Neill says:

    Did you ever imagine that your blog would become this popular?

  18. Juliet says:

    Preordered and very excited. I think I may pick this for my book group, too.

  19. thekittchen says:

    Congrats! I love the cover.
    I am self publishing my first cookbook. Getting published is so much work!

  20. Carissa says:

    Reblogged this on The Neophyte Photographer and commented:
    I’ve been following this blog for quite some time and just pre-ordered her book. Have a look see!

  21. That is such a beautiful letter… good luck with the release!

  22. outlawmama says:

    How exciting. Congrats!

  23. jerbearinsantafe says:

    Reblogged this on JerBear's Queer News, Views & Memories and commented:
    I urge my readers to join me in pre-ordering Lori’s book.

  24. jerbearinsantafe says:

    I also pre-ordered your book and am excited to read it on my Kindle.

  25. I like the parallel structure

  26. doubleinvert says:

    I pre-ordered my copy last week and I can’t wait for it to arrive!


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