An Update About School

You all are the best.  No.  I mean it.  THE BEST.

After I wrote about the trials and tribulations of our first week of school, so many of you reached out to check on us, left comments on my blog and shared your support through social media.

Here’s an update.

photo 2C.J. continues to carry his lunch to school in a brown paper bag instead of his much-desired pink-heart-monkey lunchbox.  He knows that he can take the lunchbox at any time, but he now prefers the bag.  Here’s why: when it’s time for lunch, he has to carry his lunchbox across campus to the tables to eat.  When he’s done eating, he has to carry his lunchbox to his classroom number that is painted on the ground by the playground.  When the end-of-lunch bell rings, he has to go retrieve his lunchbox from his room number and walk to his classroom.

If you aren’t familiar with new first graders, this process can be daunting.  He has realized that with a brown lunch bag, he can carry it to the lunch tables, eat his lunch and toss the whole damn thing in the trash and get to the playground without having to remember things like his room number or his belongings.

The brown lunch bag is easy.  Is the ease of use the only reason why he is using it instead of the pink-heart-monkey lunchbox?  I’m sure it’s not.  But, we are okay with that for right now.

photo 1Kids continue to ask him why he is carrying a girl’s backpack and tell him that he can’t use it because it is for girls.  He honestly doesn’t seem hurt by the remarks; it seems more like he’s just annoyed by them at this point.  To give the naysayers something more to talk about, this week he added to his backpack a key chain from Justice that looks like a pink locker.  So, there.  Feast your eyes on that double display of femininity.

As for C.J.’s Brother Chase, after I reported the racist remarks that he heard and the homophobic slurs and bullying that he endured, both offending classmates were talked to individually and the teacher told me that the next day she would talk to the entire class about acceptance and equality.  At the end of the second week of school, I asked Chase if his teacher had talked to the class about acceptance, equality, tolerance, racism or the LGBTQ community.

“No,” he said and went back to watching iOS 7 load slowly onto his iPad mini.

“So, at no time this week did she talk about being nice and accepting everyone or anything like that?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, wait a minute, she did.  Out of nowhere she said what if one day we all went to school and she said that everybody with blue eyes was bad and lesser than and couldn’t talk to anybody else or eat or play with everybody else and weren’t as smart.  Everybody thought that would suck and we all looked for the people with blue eyes.  Then, she said what if the next day we came to school and she said everybody with brown eyes was dumb and bad and couldn’t hang out with everybody else and blue-eyed people were okay again.  It was kind of confusing, but it doesn’t matter because I have hazel eyes, so I was cool no matter what.”

I just looked at him.  I’m sure he wasn’t relaying the lesson wonderfully and I was wondering how I expected the teacher to address acceptance and equality with a fifth grade class.

“What?” he said looking at me.

“And, what did the other kids in class say?”

“They said they would just wear sunglasses or keep their eyes shut so that they wouldn’t have to deal with it,” he said looking back down at his iPad.

“But that’s like a gay person being in the closet and not being true to themselves.  Or your brother having to conform just to get by,” I said, thinking out loud.

Chase shrugged his shoulders and walked into the other room.  The conversation was over, I guess.

C.J.’s First Grade Self-Portrait. Heavy on the eyeliner and lipstick apparently.

One thing I did do, at the suggestion of one of you, was ask the teacher if the parents of the two kids who had specifically been the problem had been notified of their child’s behavior.  I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to ask this, but I let her know that if my child ever needed one-on-one discipline or was using racist, homophobic or hate speech that I would want to know.

The answer was yes.  The parents had been made aware.   I would be mortified, but what if they felt that their child was justified to speak freely about their opinions?

I got up and left the room too, I needed the conversation in my head to end.

The final days of last week and the first days of this week have been largely uneventful.  Which is just the way I like my days to be most of the time.

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About raisingmyrainbow

RaisingMyRainbow.com is a blog about the adventures in raising a fabulous, gender creative son.
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58 Responses to An Update About School

  1. Amy says:

    I just love your blog and your book! I teach first grade, and I have a gender creative student ( who I also love). I was already reading your blog when we met, and it really helped me to know how to make our classroom safe and fun for him. He is not as creative as CJ, but the all about me on the first day of school tipped me off. Right from the start I established that nothing is just for boys or just for.girls. My kiddos are great! They don’t even blink when he picks a hair extension from the prize box, asks if we like his headband (which I always tell him is fabulous), or says that he thinks Jack from Magic Tree House is handsome. Thanks for the guidance!

  2. Kate says:

    I just read your book and loved it. Thank you for your strength. I applaud your courage and love for your family.

  3. Jessica S. says:

    First, I am so excited that you will be in Corvallis!
    Second, many moons ago ( har ) my 5th grade teacher had told us nothing more than that we are going to play a game. She had everyone with blue eyes stand on one side and all of the browns stand on another with the hazels in between. We went through the excorsize with the blue eyed people being bad, disgusting, weird, etc. then we got to switch spots. As a child, this excersize has stuck with me. It was not only about how it felt to get picked on for being different for something that we are not in control of, but how rotten it made us feel to negatively impact someone’s life.

    My twins at 3, although they prefer loud trucks and crashing blocks, still beg for the princess crown and love to tote around my purse and sneak into my make-up to be “pretty” at any given chance. When I allow them to make these choices in public – I purchased them the crowns which they emmediatly tore into and wore all through walmart – it is heartbreaking the public response we get.

  4. Well, we’ve done it. Today my son is wearing a dress to school. http://wp.me/p3sAg2-9M

  5. Carol says:

    I just wanted to say thank you for writing your book and your willingness to share your story publicly. Our family is similar to yours in that we have 2 sons, one “all boy” and the other gender non-conforming. We love both our sons with all our hearts and just want what is best for them…to be happy. You have opened the door for us to feel better about our decision to support our sons in being who they are, no matter what society may think. We just want to make sure they have a strong sense of self confidence to conquer all that may lie ahead. Thanks again!

  6. Zanne says:

    After reading your book, I feel like I know you and your family and am so happy to get to keep up with you all on the blog. 🙂 My son is typically gender conforming but the few times that he has exhibited gender non-conforming play or dress, the reactions are so infuriating that I can only imagine what you all have had to endure all these years. I remember one instance when my son’s daycare had acquired a Dora The Explorer Playhouse and, for whatever reason, it was the boys in the class that were most interested in the playhouse, not the girls. One morning when my husband was dropping off our son and he, along with the other boys, made a bee-line for the playhouse, another dad said to his son, “Why are you playing with a girl toy? Are you a sissy?” All the boys noticeably stiffened at this until my husband loudly said, “My son plays with it. You got a problem?!” and the other dad mumbled, “No,” and backed off and the boys relaxed and resumed their play. I just feel that even with a gender conforming son, it’s a constant battle to let him know that boys can be “sensitive” and can do things outside their gender norms, like paint their nails or wear a MardiGras-type beaded necklace if they want to. I just have so much respect and appreciation for you and your family and what you’ve done to educate the rest of us. (;

  7. danshaw01 says:

    Wow…I’m so glad I found your blog. And what an amazing mother you are. I can totally relate to your son because I grew up always feeling different from the other boys and wishing I could be more like all the girls. I begged my parents to let me paint my room pink (a pastel green was the closest I could get them to go for), tried on my mom’s high heels whenever I got the chance and loved gathering all my mom’s cosmetics and pretending I was the “Avon lady” selling it all back to her. My parents loved me unconditionally, but never knew quite what to make of me. 🙂 And now as my partner and I are looking to start a family of our own, I look forward to raising our child and embracing him or her exactly as they are. And I also want to say that I volunteer as a suicide prevention counselor for a national LGBT crisis line, and it breaks my heart to hear the stories from kids whose parents are not accepting and how it devastates their lives. Your son is so truly blessed to have you and I hope you understand the gift you’re giving him by just letting him be himself. All the best to you!

  8. Lance says:

    Okay, CJ has to do what at lunch? I’m 37 and it confused me!!! 😉

    I admire the added defiance of “normalcy” with the pink locker keychain. I was often a brownbagger b/c lunchboxes were a luxury in my house, but once in a while, Mom splurged. I always chose something acceptable to both genders and that was usually Garfield, my personal favorite! I often had Garfield school items – I was a passionate fan of that cat – but the secondary reason for choosing such things was a conscious awareness that my parents would not purchase something perceived as feminine that I may want, before considering how my schoolmates and even teachers would treat me. And Garfield was unisex… therefore, safe.

    Sometimes, even at this age and after gaining much self-confidence, I make “safe” decisions about what I’m wearing or buying, depending on where I am or what it’s for. At other times, I just don’t give a damn! Those are the best times!

  9. Lisa says:

    I know the study, ajvsell. Apparently, the subtleties were lost on the students. Perhaps a more direct approach would be more appropriate with fifth graders.

  10. I know the rules of school for kids. As a parent of a first grader, I am still REALLY learning the rules for parents! And with a gender non-conforming son – yikes! I think I’ve done half a dozen things “wrong” – who I’m supposed to talk to, who I’m not supposed to talk to and what-not. If this whole year is as stressful as the first month has been, I’m not sure I’ll make it. But I will say this: I’m so glad I’ve found a community online where I can turn for support and guidance! And my son is SOO thrilled to know he isn’t the only boy who likes to wear dresses!

  11. Your Wise Posts...thank you! says:

    All of your posts have helped me so much. My son 6 decided this week to wear his pink sparkly hat to school. Unfortunately, as soon as he got on the bus, 4 boys called him all sorts of names and made him feel awful.

    Thanks to everyone’s advice to CJ’s first week of school, I used your advice to navigate the school system and discuss with his teacher. All of your tips worked perfectly, and his teacher made sure that she educated the boys and also talked with their parents.

    On another note, has anyone ever had a their son want to join Girl Scouts? How did you handle that?

    • MM says:

      Haven’t had that experience (no kids), but thought I heard something on the radio recently about some scout group allowing both/more genders? A quick google search indicates that Girl Scouts only allows boys who are transgender (I think one article said living as girl). I would suggest you call them to confirm, maybe check how they define and whether local group is receptive…. It sounds pretty narrow, but I’m still for asking. Meanwhile here’s a list of some scout groups that welcome both/all genders — and one that is boys only but including gay/bi boys and leaders. http://www.uua.org/re/children/scouting/169569.shtml
      I am so sad thinking of his disappointment. This stuff is just heartbreaking. I hope you find someplace that will work for him and you. And maybe you can offer him aspects of the GS experience in other ways (so sad). Like craft classes….

  12. R Center says:

    Here is the gender classroom lesson I mentioned in my previous posts. http://darlenetandogenderblog.com/2012/08/19/gender-lesson/

    • R Center says:

      Just realized you were the one who originally spoke about this lesson on Tando’s blog. Good thing you did, b/c over 200 first graders at my school now have had that lesson in the last 2 years.

  13. Kristen says:

    I am so sorry that you all have to go through that. In my son’s first week of 2nd grade a couple weeks ago, I asked him “What was the funniest thing that happened today?” and he said “Someone called me a girl.” I froze and braced myself, asked him what he did. He said he laughed. Laughed and laughed like that was just riotously funny. He hasn’t had any problems other than that. Granted, he only wore a skirt that one day. He’s mostly stuck to girl’s shirts and pants. Reading about your experience almost makes me cry with relief.

  14. alemunshi says:

    I started writing you an email since I recently found your blog, but I was torn between writing a novel and writing a few sentences. My 7 year old has loved glitter, Barbies and pink since he discovered them, despite his older brother only loving trucks, trains and the like. My husband and I have supported his interests, of course, but BOY is it hard to think about how other kids may tease him. What has helped me the most (and hopefully has helped E) is to volunteer as much as I can at my kids’ school. I feel at their ages (9 and 7), they love seeing me there, and the more other kids see me, the less they’ll think it’s OK to tease them. It’s not a perfect solution, I know, but it helps me sleep a little better at night.

    THANK YOU for putting yourself out there–you are brave and wonderful, and your family is the change I wish to see in this world, for sure.

  15. joewcrabtree says:

    Lori,

    Glad to hear that you were able to confirm that the parents of the students making the comments to Chase were notified. It is going to take all of us together to put and end to this intolerance. That type of strategy is somewhat new to our school. It was recently adopted by our entire system. Check it out. It is called OLWEUS (http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/public/index.page). Hope it is able to help your boys’ schools.

    Keep on being that involved parent who only wants what is best for her children. You rock!

  16. Kelly says:

    I’m always inspired by love and support for your family! The reason I’m writing is there is a wonderful article about gender expression and stereotypes in youth over at Salon.com that I know you’ll want to share with your audience. Keep up the great work!

  17. MM says:

    Hey Lori,
    1. SO GLAD to hear that the support here helps. Awesome.
    2. thanks for the update.
    3. I hope you’ll stay on track with the schools. They did okay but they can do more. Chase’s teacher is doing okay, but needs to keep at it. Perhaps some help with a list of books? (I may be able to help with that if needed, I know a kids’ librarian who collects titles of many kinds of equality/justice books…..could ask her for some help if you need it.) Or what else would help Chase’s teacher? stay in touch, ask her how you can help, what resources can you get for her etc??? And what about CJ? CJ is getting teased – milder than what Chase was hearing but still. Could the teacher perhaps do a lesson about personal styles or maybe just say “colors are for everyone, toys are for everyone” now and then, to try to bolster the message a bit? Or maybe read some supportive books? It is awesome that CJ is not too hurt by the comments, AND it would be good to support him on that as much as possible.

    Oh, and I TOTALLY LOVE the comments from parents who tell their own gender nonconforming kids about CJ, watch videos of CJ together etc. those stories just melt my heart totally. When kids are feeling affirmation and support it is just so sweet!

    • R Center says:

      It is my understanding that it needs to initially be explicitly talked about with examples and what the children can do to intervene. I also talk about some child, usually a nephew (imaginary) who seems to have a lot of the traits my child has! I explain how the comments really hurt my nephew to the point he didn’t want to go back to school. I am trying to go from the abstract to the concrete. Then it can be woven in and out of future days. A book for K – 2 would be Oliver Button is a Sissy by Tomie dePaula. It is based on his own life and the author is gay.

      • MM says:

        Hi R, Do you have an idea of how explicit and what to be talked about? I think Chase’s teacher could do follow up lessons about gay people (general stuff about sexual orientation, kinds of families etc), race, and perhaps gender, but I think it could be too pointed if she were to talk to the class about the specific comments that were made. Is that what you meant? What’s your experience with this?
        I just reread the Tando lesson on gender. I think it could be helpful for CJs class, but I also wonder if CJ could feel a bit called out and self-concious (in a bad way)…. It has an example of a boy with a pink backpack…..
        I’m one of the sensitive people who can feel hyper upset from self-consciousness, and its hard for me to realize not everyone feels this stuff.

    • R Center says:

      By explicit, I mean giving “real” examples. So, I will say that I have a “nephew” or “niece” (neighbor, a child from church, camp, etc…), or I will say one about me as a child and make up a scenario, which can be a variation on what is exactly happening. For example, in the lesson I’ll say, “When I was in 1st grade I loved my Spiderman lunchbox, I used to imagine that I could climb up buildings and help people. Then one day someone in my class told me that I’m a girl and I couldn’t have that lunchbox. How do you think I felt? People were staring at me. (wait for responses). Was it ok for me to imagine being able to climb buildings and help people? (wait for responses) I went home and cried and told my mom to not use the lunchbox anymore. Do you know what she said? She said that superheroes are for everyone, and that it is important that everyone want to help others. I still didn’t want to bring my lunchbox back to school. I did the next day and when someone told me again that I couldn’t have it, one classmate told that person that every person has the right to like whatever they want. That one person saying that made all the difference. It was so brave of the person.”

      Then I talk about how that classmate knew that it wasn’t only important to not join in the negative comments, but it was important to stand up for me. I then talked about the two jobs everyone has, to not join it, and to stand up for the person being criticized for having his/her own style.

      I make up scenarios for girls playing football, boys liking sparkly barrettes, girls who like to wear their brother’s old t-shirts. With 3rd grade or older I talk about famous male clothes designers or ballet dancers. I’ll ask for 2 volunteers with good self esteem in my first glade class. I’ll whisper to one that I am going to pretend to not like her _____(fill in the blank), and I pick something pretty neutral to criticize, like her short hair, wearing clothes that aren’t pink, always wearing sneakers, etc…). I then role play the scenario, with me being the one making the negative comments. The second classmate then says” stop saying those things, she can have her own style.”

      The only example I have not brought up is a boy wearing a dress. That has not happened at my school, and I was starting with what I knew I could confidently defend to any parent.

      Hope this helps.

  18. Cheryl S. says:

    I was coming on to talk about Jane Elliott, but ajvsell beat me to it. If done correctly, it’s a hell of an exercise. I remember doing it as a kid (in the 70’s). Being blue eyed, I was PISSED that I was thought of as lesser!

    Glad to hear things are basically uneventful! Love the locker, BTW.

  19. Meguey says:

    Thanks for the update! Following your blog helps me find words to support my own 7 yo son who loves purple and science and fairies and dinosaurs. Expression is for everyone. Colors are for everyone. Rainbows are for everyone!

  20. Meguey says:

    Thanks for the update! Following your blog helps me find ways to help my own 7 yo boy who loves purple and science and fairies and dinosaurs. Colors are for everyone. Expression is for everyone. Rainbows are for everyone!

  21. Wishing you many more uneventful days!

  22. Zack Speir says:

    Per a couple other commenters above, my mom and I used to decorate my brown paper lunch sacks with stamps when I was little. It was fun to do together plus, at school, if I ever felt self-conscious (having purple poodle stamps all over my lunch bag), I could still be honest and say “my mom did it.”

  23. N's Mom says:

    Did you wrote a letter again this week or mostly let CJ speak for himself? Your letter from Kindergarten was so helpful to me as my son started First Grade this year and I have shared in with others giving you major credit as I practically used yours as a template.

  24. Mindy says:

    Hi there – my family is in a very similar situation to yours, and reading about your journey has helped us very much. I have been looking for a quick reference to send to anyone who wants to know more about us/our child, but have had a difficult time finding one that feels ‘right’ and not too overwhelming for the average gender-clueless person. The last part of your book, “12 things every gender non-conforming child wants you to know” is perfect. Do you have a quick link to this that we could share with others as needed? Or would your publisher consider providing one?

  25. Here’s to more uneventful days for you and your family! Those kind are the best!

  26. Blove says:

    Thank you for your inspirational blog posts — you are amazing! At the end of last year’s school year, my gender non-conforming 5 year old daughter was being bullied by a 6 year old girl. My daughter refused to wear her favorite black sneakers to school one day and when I asked why, she just broke down sobbing and told me that the Mean Girl picks on her sneakers because they are not pink or purple. She then refused to carry her Spiderman lunch box for the same reason. The strange thing about it all is that my daughter longed to be accepted by this bully more than anything else. She wanted to be her friend, she wanted play dates with her. It shocked me to hear her tell her story and then I realized how early in life bulling can start. This 6 year old girl would get other girls to gang up on my daughter. Tell her that her art work was ugly, refuse to play with her on the playground. Unbelievable! She is at a new school this year. She picked out girly sneakers and a girly lunch box for school this year. It breaks my heart. Bully awareness needs to start at the very youngest ages.

  27. Emily says:

    The blue eyed brown eyed thing sounds like his teacher is trying to reenact Jane Elliot’s rather famous “blue-eyed/brown-eyed” exercise. It’s an analogy for racial discrimination, and it worked really well with her class (and with adults, she does seminars and things). Hopefully his teacher follows it through properly otherwise it’ll just fall flat and the kids won’t learn anything.

  28. Fox says:

    Your kids are so brave, strong, and inspirational. You’re a fantastic mom. Your family has been wonderfully helpful in my own struggle to accept my son for who he is, purple nailpolish, pink leopard print hoodie, and all. I used to worry that the pressure on him to change would mean he would give it up no matter how supportive I was. Your son has given me confidence that I don’t need to worry, especially now that the pressure put upon him is getting stronger. Beekee’s about the same age as CJ, and he loves when I tell him all about CJ. He was so happy to hear CJ is still proudly carrying his “girlie backpack” as he calls it. He’s such an inspiration to my family.

    Your kids are developing some awesome skills. They’re learning a hard lesson about acceptance and being yourself, but by the time they hit their teenage years they’ll both be confident and strong. CJ is such a trooper! I love your family already, even though I’ve never met you.

  29. well Lori, you know that this is going to go on forever.. It is sad, but dig in for the long haul… Have you thought about donating some of your books to vaious libraries in your area? might be another way to get the information out there.as soon as I can afford to ,I am buying your book. Everyone needs to be further educated. On a multitude of subjects.. I am a Social Worker student. Starting over at 57yrs old. raised my kids years ago..yes there was bullying.. yes it hurt.. yes it was ignored by authorities..Things are changing. just too slowly.

  30. Ours too thank good ness. We have added barrettes to our repertoire. I think the whole thing has been harder on his older brother than him. Mine and yours are some of the bravest little hearts I know.

  31. Steph says:

    I love this blog. My (almost) 3 year old has 2 mummies, and being a rainbow family we try to encourage playing with all toys no matter what “gender” they are supposed to be for. Last week at the start of our shopping trip we had a dinosaur t-shirt, and a “princess sophia the first” (disney programme) magazine. I was so happy!! xx

  32. Ally says:

    I’ve felt how your feeling more times than I can count as a mom and I distinctly remember as a 6 year old how special something like a favorite lunchbox can be. I have ones I remember to this day and how excited I was when I picked them out. I feel sad for CJ that he can’t just enjoy those small wonders as a kid, but after everything you have shared about CJ, I know he is one strong, brave kid. When he looks back at this as a grown up, what’s going to matter the most to him, I bet, is the fact that mom and dad had his back. Lunch boxes are small wonders to a kid and he might be sad about it now but one day he will fully realize that your love for him motivated you to change the world to make it a better place for him. One day kids will be able to feel safe and free to be themselves and it’s families like yours that are paving the way. Changing the world is not easy but hang in there, you’re really good at it 🙂

  33. Yeeks it must be hard not to go full-protest-activist at times like this… I’m sure if I were a parent I’d completely over play my hand. Kudos for your temperance as well as your forwardness.

  34. R Center says:

    5th grade is late to be starting this conversation with the kids. At our school (I teach at my 3rd grade child’s school), they have weekly 20 minute “Open Circle” sessions that explicitly address these “social competency” issues starting in K. I found a gender lesson on line that is now used in the lower grades that talks about colors and activities being for everyone, not just one gender. It teaches that each person has their own style that feels right to them (and is appropriate clothing at school) and that we need to respect that, even if we don’t like that style for us. We talk explicitly about “silly examples”, like not liking the color of someone’s shoes, and about more serious ones about boys with earrings, long hair, pink sparkly clothes, and girls who like to wear their brother’s t-shirts and clothes people think are “boy clothes”. We talk about 2 parts to each student’s responsibility: not participating in these disrespectful comments and then, the hard part, saying something to stand up for the student being criticized. We also do role plays. I can find the lesson, if you’d like. Two years later, my school had to do a special lesson to the second graders on a child who people thought was a boy, but was a girl, and who was changing her name to one that she preferred more. This lesson included respecting others, what is not your business (with a variety of examples), and what they could do to help this child feel supported if other students at the school called her the wrong name. Children need specific examples to get it.

    Also, in first grade my child came home on the first day to tell me that the Hello Kitty thermos was no longer ok, although the princess keychain still stayed on the purple backpack!

    • Lyn~ says:

      Wish my school stood behind their no bullying policy! Its sad to witness and bright and sparkly kid slowly and continually dimming as she struggles to find her own comfort level vs s strong desire to fit in…. my child is not gender fluid in the same sense that CJ is but she sure is not into all of the fru-fru girlie stuff her classmates are….. and last year she was ignored by several of her classmates when she opted for a pixie cut over longer hair. Poor kid just wants to fit in and feel good about herself…. something she struggles with as a result of being abandoned by her parents (due to health issues they struggle with)!!! It also seems that as her Grandmother/legal guardian I create more stress advocating for her than helping her……

    • carolyn bloom says:

      i’d Love to see the lesson u describe. is there anyway you can attach it here, with your comment?

  35. Maddy says:

    He drew himself as a girl again this year!!! Maybe not with his 5th grade buddy, but still. He seems to be getting more comfortable saying “I’m me and I’m not asking you to tell me how. I’m showing you that I am ME and that is fab-you-LOUS!”

  36. AHowell says:

    Great to hear about CJ’s subtle rebellion and that he is getting more annoyed than hurt about the ridiculous comments for his classmates. I think asking the teachers about the offending students on Chase’s side was great tool- like you, I would want to know if my child was saying such hate. That is never okay.
    Continuing my prayers for your boys and my own.. Chase is fast approaching the age where kids can get so darn mean. I finished RmR last night and what an amazing story. You have a great family and are doing so much I wish my husband and I had done earlier in his son’s life. Also opened up some discussions between the Mr and I that we never really thought to have. He is reading the book (begrudgingly, as he is a cardiologist and already complains about reading too much as it is) but I think it there’s a lot he needs to hear that you have written. Thank you for that.

  37. jonathanmayo says:

    I’m so impressed by the way your boys are already handling the situation. Unfortunately a fight means a struggle at times

  38. L says:

    You knew some of the hard stuff was coming, but it always does. CJ is so far ahead because of you and the rest of his family. I think I can speak for everyone who comments here that we LOVE you. not love, but LOVE. You have done more for me personally in the last year than I could ever relay. You are changing the world.

  39. Parker says:

    You know, brown paper bags are easy to decorate with markers and stencils and stickers, etc. They don’t have to be boring brown, they can be fabulous. It’s something that can be done each evening for fun or a surprise to hand him in the mornings.
    I hope he’s making new friends. It can be a great time.

    • Amilyn Lina says:

      This is a cool idea! Spray glue and glitter, glue, yarn and those googly eyes to make funny faces. This would be fun for any kid! Wonder if my niece is too old for this…

      • BRIAN says:

        THUMBS UP FROM ME 🙂

        Sounds like a great rainy day project, make a dozen or so “colorful” lunch bags !¡

  40. samatwitch says:

    I’m pleased to hear that things have settled down at least somewhat. I felt so sad for both of them after your other post and can only imagine how hard it must have been for you and your husband. Here’s to a more stable and uneventful rest of the school year.

  41. Kira says:

    All we can do is our best and hope it is enough…

  42. ajvsell says:

    (Just as an FYI, the teacher was repeating for the kids a classic behavioral experiment from the late 60s. You might be interested to see how she did it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Elliott)

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