Friday Fodder: HRC and Me Edition

gender_youth_270I was honored when the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) asked me to write about my reactions to the “Supporting and Caring for Our Gender Expansive Youth” report they released yesterday.  The report compiles findings from their recent Youth Survey and was co-authored by Gender Spectrum.

You must read the report.  It’s devastating and will show you that we need to do better — we have to do better — for the sake of differently gendered kids.

And, if you have time, ready my essay, here’s an excerpt:

“Sometimes (C.J.) dulls his sparkle because others don’t know what to make of it.  He’s had people hurl homophobic slurs at him.  He’s had peers in the school bathroom try to see if he has a penis or vagina.  He’s had adults tell him to stop being a sissy and to “man up.”  Today, he was told to “go jump off of the Tyler Clementi Memorial Bridge.”  All because my seven-year-old boy likes pink more than blue, dolls more than trucks, skirts more than pants.

It’s scary raising a child; it’s even scarier raising a gender nonconforming child….

Imagine raising a child who — according to the survey – will feel less happy than their peers; is more likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol; views their life goals as unachievable; believes they have to leave home in order to be accepted; feels unsafe at school; and finds religion to be unloving.”

* * *

Here are two fundraising campaigns that you might be interested in:

Quirkie Kids Kickstarter AdQUIRKIE KIDS is hoping to raise $2,500 in the next 30 days to launch a line of pink tees for girls AND boys with playful designs not normally associated with the color pink. QUIRKIE KIDS believes that all kids should be free to wear pink and is working and gives kids more options to express themselves through their clothing.  Click here to check out the campaign.

The documentary Inside Out has also launched a 30-day funding blitz.  They are asking 80,000 caring people to donate $10 (the price of a movie ticket) to fund the first feature film to go deep inside the lives of transgender and gender non-conforming children and their families. By following the journeys of five children over one year audiences will understand their hopes, fears and— often difficult— decisions. Inside Out puts a human face on these stories and, in doing so, inspires empathy, increases awareness and broadens the public’s understanding of people.  Click here to learn more and/or donate.

About raisingmyrainbow is a blog about the adventures in raising a fabulous, gender creative son.
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10 Responses to Friday Fodder: HRC and Me Edition

  1. Jessica says:

    I “discovered” you through the HRC article last week, and subsequently got your book on kindle. Couldn’t put it down all week! My girls are all gender-conforming, but your story was just so interesting and I learned so much. Bless you all!

  2. Thank you, as always, for being a great source of information and of great resources for supporting ourselves and our little ones.

  3. EJ386 says:

    I seldom have any interaction with gender non-comfirming people, or at least if I have I don’t know about it. I find your blog so insightful and really worth reading. So thank you for sharing.

  4. Jafet says:

    Hello Lori,

    My name is Jafet Vargas, I’m 23 and I’m from Costa Rica. I’m currently reading your book which I’m totally loving, I can’t put it down. I just wanted to express my admiration to parents like you, you both are amazing parents. I wish someday I could meet C.J that’d be totally awesome!

    Greetings from Costa Rica! Keep it up and don’t let anyone bring you down.

  5. Kristi says:

    Done and done, donated to both. Thank you for sharing the opportunity.

    Here is the link for Quirkie on Kickstarter:

  6. Michelle Simmons says:

    I am so glad that C.J. was blessed with you and your husband for parents. It’s very sad that a child as young as him have already experienced personally the ugliness of society. No one should, but especially a child and a very young child at that. I hope your example helps change a parent who has a beautiful, loving child like C.J. to someone like yourself.

  7. J.Anna says:

    There is a small company called “Handsomeinpink” who have pink shirts with unusual print: Check it out here:

  8. smrisme says:

    Your link for Quirkie Kids is invalid, it just leads back to your own site. Can you post the correct link? I’d love to donate. Thank you!!!

  9. I sat beside my son this afternoon while he set up an appointment for counselling. It was heartbreaking to hear him telling the worker he’d like to talk to someone because he’s been thinking of killing himself. On Tuesday, he told me he’s never coming out of the closet because he took away the door, welded it shut, then hid it behind a big screen TV. He loves the nail polish I got him for Valentine’s Day but is too scared to wear it anywhere. And he still identifies as female on the inside and male on the outside.

    It’s got to get better for them 😦

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