How can you tell if you have a good brother? If his Christmas gift to you is 10 days and nights of free childcare. If you are a parent, you will understand how priceless this gift is. If you’re not a parent, give this gift to someone you love.
Uncle Michael had the boys for two nights and three days during Spring Break. They went to the Shake Shack for lunch, Au Fudge for brunch, decorated cake at Duff’s Cakemix, hosted a dinner party, made “Spaghetti Two Ways” (don’t ask), visited the La Brea Tar Pits, stayed up past their bedtime and counted 110 cigarette butts on the ground during their stay (my kids are weird).
C.J. and Chase thought they had the best time, but Matt and I were wine tasting so obviously we won.
As we drove home from West Hollywood to Orange County, the boys were mostly quiet in the backseat, until C.J. shouted, “I forgot to tell you, gurl!!! I’m a drag queen!”
Turns our, my brother had also let them watch RuPaul’s Drag Race.
A few days later — after much begging – I agreed to sit down and watch Drag Race with C.J. I had seen clips from the show here and there, but never a full episode.
“You’re going to like this show, mom. When we watch it, we all get their ‘hes’ and ‘shes’ mixed up like people do when they talk about me,” he said. If that’s not a solid reason to watch, I don’t know what is.
We started with the current season’s first episode and C.J. immediately started rapid-firing questions that I could not answer. I had to text my brother. Over and over and over again. I used to think I was pretty knowledgeable about LGBTQ culture. Watching Drag Race with my nine-year-old son has taught me that there is much for me to learn.
I also texted my friend Jeff who watches Drag Race and is one of my go-to people when it comes to LGBTQ-related things.
Bob The Drag Queen continues to be C.J.’s overall favorite contestant this season, while he thinks Kim Chi has the best makeup.
“That’s sad that Kim Chi’s mom, Mrs. Chi, doesn’t know that she is a drag queen and wouldn’t approve. I would always tell you if I was a drag queen and I’d want you and dad and Chase to come to my shows!”
My heart swelled. When your son tells you that if he were a drag queen he’d want you to watch him perform, you know you’ve done something right as a parent.
Naomi Smalls is still my favorite and I want her body. But I’m 38, have had two kids and like to eat chips, so it’s a dream that will never be realized.
C.J.’s favorite part of each episode is when the two final contestants have to lip sync for their lives. He asked me if I’ve ever had to lip sync for my life. I have not.
And, be warned Drag Race contestants current and future, if you take your heels and/or wig off to lip sync for your life, C.J. will automatically yell at the TV that you need to sashay away.
At first we were moving very slowly through the season.
When we finally did get caught up on the current season, C.J. asked if we could watch a past season while we waited for a new episode. I found season four for free on Amazon. Watching two seasons at once has me getting all of my queens and challenges confused. Thankfully C.J. remembers them all (even though he has a hard time remembering his multiplication tables), so he helps me along.
In conclusion, I’ll leave you with our house rules for watching the show, in case you need some boundaries for yourself and/or your house:
Current Rules C.J. Must Follow In Order To Watch RuPaul’s Drag Race
- All homework must be done.
- You must watch it with your mom or dad.
- We don’t use the word “fishy” to describe people. (He has no idea what this alludes to.)
- We don’t use the words “bitch” and “fuck.” (Well, I do, but he’s not allowed yet.)
- Even though RuPaul says “Con-drag-ulations” the real word is “Congratulations” and we use that. (In case it’s ever on a spelling test.)
- We don’t put glue sticks in our eyebrows until we are a little bit older or have adult supervision for the application and removal. (I’m not looking forward to dealing with this mess.)
- We don’t attempt to glue our wigs to our heads. (I wouldn’t even know where to begin.)
- We fast forward through “Shade Throwing” because that’s not a nice way to talk to people. (I think he will eventually need to learn to throw shade, but not just yet.)
- As soon as the show is over, it’s time to immediately sashay away to bed.
Raising My Rainbow 
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Positively wonderful to read. You are doing a great job as a parent. Condragularions. I mean, Congratulations!
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Lovely article,
Thanks for the support. Even though you thought I wouldn’t win 😉
Hey, CJ was rooting for ya!
Ahhhh – as silly as I may sound atm, I can’t believe the real Bob The Drag Queen posted a comment himself – and here we are now, BTD as the current reigning Drag Queen!
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Drag Race Junior!! I would watch the SHIT outta that show.
I love that he wants you to watch his maybe future drag shows. On a similar level, after my trans-perger came out to us, I told them I was pleased they felt safe enough to come out to us, and they told me “Oh I never worried about coming out to you!” I know what it feels like to have your heart swell so much. It makes everyone of those hard times worth it.
I just wanted to express how wonderful of a parent you are and how blessed you are to have such a beautiful child. Embrace your child no matter who they want to be, whether trans or drag. I’m a transgendered woman and just started a blog here about being transgender and it is extremely important that you support your child. I am amazed by your courage and undying love for your child. He is extremely talented already and I can’t wait to keep reading and hear who he will grow up to be. God bless you!
“My heart swelled. When your son tells you that if he were a drag queen he’d want you to watch him perform, you know you’ve done something right as a parent.” Yes! This! ❤
My husband is a drag queen. Eyebrows get “blocked” (covered) with Elmer’s glue stick. Let the first layer dry and then go back in with additional layers until it is smooth. When add powder over it to set it. Brush away the excess. Youtube has a bunch of tutorials from the quoeens who have been on recent seasons.
Here is a link to them. https://www.youtube.com/user/LogoTV/search?query=Ruvealing
The kind that is purple and turns clear that kids use in school is the best. It is non-toxic washes right out with soap and water, so no worries. Most pro drag queens who do it constantly will just shave theirs off to make it easier on them. Oh and BTW…the world needs more moms like you! Bravo!!! 🙂
You might want to go on YouTube and do searches for the drag queens he likes. Also LOGOTV & WORLD OF WONDER channels have a lot of videos. You of course should watch anything first to make sure they’re appropriate. But there’s a whole series of videos where the Queens demonstrate their transformations from boy to their alter ego. He may enjoy that and it might answer some of his questions. I find them very interesting
And congrats for being such a great open minded & supportive parent
I’ve been watching RPDR since the beginning, but started watching with my son (and daughter) for a few years now. He lives for it! He’s 10 and he’s fabulous! He looked deep into my eyes after one of the first eps we watched and said “Can I PLEASE wear a dress when I’m 24?” I think that was the youngest queen on that season. I told him he could wear one sooner if he wanted. He loves it. He wears dresses or skirts whenever he can WITH heels. He wears my heels more than I do and for longer. He’ll keep the heels on longer than Adore Delano 🙂 This is all at home, behind closed doors. I am VERY aware that there is no shame in his game, but kids are assholes and so the skirts and dresses stay inside, for now. 10 is a bit young to have to explain yourself esp since he’s still figuring it out for himself. One sashay at a time. Listen, does this terrify me? Hell yes! I’m scared as hell for him possibly getting teased or beat up, but we also talk about being strong and standing up for yourself and being proud of who you are and that he IS awesome. Only time will determine who and what he wants to be/do in life, but for now he’s a total queen and I’m not mad about it! All of C.J.’s rules are ours, we’ve discussed all of that. We do not get into the more sexual jokes of the show which generally go over his head and I will FF through some bits, but for the most part RPDR has been so valuable in teaching strength and tolerance and pride to both of my children. Now they just need a tour that kids can go to. I’m not talking a kiddie version (that would suck!) but I also know that his whole childhood would be made (exaggeration) by meeting an RPDR queen IRL. For now we will celebrate local Pride and hopefully meet some locals 🙂 And as his mother MY head would explode if he actually found another kid to watch the show with or dress up with. THAT would be incredible!
You are amazing!!! Your son is incredibly lucky to have parent(s) as tolerant and accepting as you, there are far too many stories of families that feel otherwise. As a woman who has issues wearing heals for any length of time I am in awe of your son’s endurance and willingness to suffer for fashion. Lol!! Honestly, my life would be made by both meeting a RPDR Queen and knowing that there were groups of boys and/or transgirls that got together to watch RPDR together in dresses of full drag with parental permission of course. Hopefully even with their assistance. Much love to your wonderfully colorful family.
“fishy” doesn’t refer to what you think it does. It means that someone looks some much like a girl, it’s fishy/questionable how. From here we get the verb/noun ‘serving fish’. Some people have attached another meaning to it but it comes from the semantic meaning of fishy = questioning how someone looks so much like an actual female.
Oh series 5 & 6, with beloved Seattle queens Jinkx (who won!) and Ben Delacreme (one of the most kind, lovely people ever).
I have met Jinkx and she is just as lovely in person.
Gluestick, powder, and pancake sounds like a recipe for adventure. Enjoyed the text msgs very much. 🙂
I recently heard about the book “A different kind of daughter : the girl who hid from the Taliban in plain sight” and thought it may provide a hopeful glimpse into the wonders that can happens when a child is able to follow their heart.
I just got to you blog through the RuPaul’s Drag Race Reddit page. And I have to say I love what you’re doing for your children and I wish every parent had something close to your level of understanding and acceptance!
I come from a household where I never had anything but love and support shown to me growing up as a queer kid and I can’t even begin to describe how healthy that was and how much of a difference it made for me to become who I am today! I have friends who were shown the door once they opened up about their sexualities or whose parents were openly ashamed of them, and that leaves deep scars and that can set somebody back real bad! Your kid is very lucky and one day he’ll be able to fully and rationally appreciate all you do to support him and he’ll be endlessly thankful (just like that Naomi girl on RDR)! Thank you so much!
You might want to go on YouTube and do searches for the drag queens he likes. Also LOGOTV & WORLD OF WONDER channels have a lot of videos. You of course should watch anything first to make sure they’re appropriate. But there’s a whole series of videos where the Queens demonstrate their transformations from boy to their alter ego. He may enjoy that and it might answer some of his questions. I find them very interesting
And congrats for being such a great open minded & supportive parent
I am so LOVING this!!!
#ParentingDoneRight
As a queen, don’t be afraid of the glue, it comes out fairly easily with soap and water! But this post is too adorable!
Honestly, this is so amazing. I honestly recommend that if you’re gonna show him a season, show him season 1 because, even though it looks like it was sprayed with vaseline, it’s much more kid friendly than seasons 4 to 7, and it shows a lot about acceptance and all. Skip through Jade’s runways and critiques though, if you don’t want your kid to start asking you much more about tucking though :p. Hearing parents like you exist makes everything so much happier in my life 🙂
The screencaps of the text messages had me rolling! “So do they not judge on boobs?”😀
I don’t watch the show (although it sounds like fun!) but on to the really important part :P…. being in theater I have met my fair share of drag queens and as a tip, I have seen some use soap instead of glue, like rub the dry bar soap right onto the eyebrow… it doesn’t look as perfect but it might help with the glue situation! (and looks well enough to work on stage, but not on camera)
Soap is a bad idea! When a drag queen sweats, and the best ones do, a lot, the soap will seap into, and burn their eyes.
You’re a wonderful mother. It may seem simple now, but in the long run CJ will appreciate what you are doing for him as a young boy. Because of your selflessness and love, your children will grow up to be compassionate adults- which is what society needs.
this is one of my fav blogs in a while.. You are right to fast forward through reading sections… I stopped watching Drag Race around season 4 because the producers made a conscious decision to pit the queens against each other thinking “Conflict makes good TV” – you’ve been in the industry, you know how they are about that perhaps. It is my biggest critique of Drag Race, that it is teaching a whole generation of our young queens to be defensive, offensive and use bitchiness as a skill rather than using the art for good, for kindness, for uplifting people. I wish you could expose CJ to people like the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the drag nuns. They use gender play and drag to raise money for charities, to uplift people, to speak for people who don’t have voices in society. That model f or drag is very important and much more like the historical archetype for cross gendered and gender fluid people historically. I hope he continues to have fun and see himself in the world.
YAS show him the Sisters!
As one from the UK I’d be more than willing to send him some sort of message of love if it would help in any way!
Great blog by the way!
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are the most creative costumers I’ve seen at Pride events! Amazing makeup too, of course! 🙂
The screencaps of the text messages had me rolling! “So do they not judge on boobs?” 😀
i have NEVER seen this and my uncle has a drag queen persona, I feel like I am missing out! Also CJ IS 9 NOW? When i started reading here I think he was 5. wow
Drag Race Jr!! ROFL!! I would watch that fer shur!!
Loved every bit of this. Thanks for writing it.
I’m not much of a TV person. And I’ve never seen it. Generally I’m not so in tune with Drag Queens especially if they are horrid in their makeup. But I’m glad he is getting to express himself and to learn that it’s ok to be different and ok to be you. Kudos for the great parenting. I always love reading your blog and seeing your little one growing up free to be he/she or whoever they want to be.
If you can, you should watch the Jinx Monsoon season – so fierce! And Bianca DelRio too! I watched with my then 8 year old, until he started saying some of the shadier things at school, then we fast forwarded those parts, and he lost interest. He’s 15 now, and starting to get back into watching.
I’ve never seen the show, but then I’m trans and drag queens wear too too much make up for me. Still. I’m glad your brother is such a big part of your son’s lives. My uncle is gay too and my parents kept him as far away as possible. Still, he gave me my first phonograph and my love of classical music. I still love it today fifty some years later (although I like it mixed with metal).
I had to look up fishy on urban dictionary. And if someone is in drag what pronoun is used?
GENERALLY you use their preferred pronoun for their “human” selves, and the gender of their drag persona when they’re in dress.
So if it’s a man in drag as a woman, you’d use “he” normally, and “she” to refer to their drag persona.
saying that though, men can do drag as males (see: Alfie Ordinary), women as females (see: nereida creme fatale alvarez or any other bio or faux queen), and people do any sort of mixed or un-gendered drag (see: Dis Charge).
Also it’s just not a great idea to assume people’s pronouns based on what they look like. Just about any person who uses different pronouns will basically have their day made by you asking them which to use.
When they’re in drag, use she/her (you can use he/him, but that usually is said as an insult or read for when drag queens aren’t looking femme enough). When they’re out of drag, mostly use he/him, though many queens would tell you it’s not an insult to use she/her either, though they don’t identify as women.
How funny. I just finished watching an episode of Drag Race with my son and then I opened my computer and your blog popped up. What a fun mother/son thing to do. You are an awesome mom!
This is beautiful! What a good mom, truly.
Also, Bob’s my favorite, too. I hope she wins.
This is so amazing! What a great experience you are giving him by learning with him! Go Mom!
Always FUN to read your excellent writings. CJ is going to do great things with a family as yours.
I let my kiddo watch Drag Race with me when he was young (I never let him watch Untucked – too adult for a kiddo!), and we had some great conversations because of it. He was watching his third episode with me, and turned to me and said, “Mama, are those men dressed up like women?” I don’t know what he was thinking through the previous two episodes! I said, “Yes, they like to perform like that. Aren’t they so pretty? I love their clothes!” He agreed and from their we eventually had conversations about how it doesn’t matter if someone wears dresses, or what clothes they wear, or what color their skin is, or who they like to kiss, as long as they are nice to us. And we agreed some of the queens were not so nice! In 5th grade he had to write a paper on who his hero was and he chose RuPaul. I don’t think his teacher even knew who RuPaul is. My son said RuPaul was his hero because he was kind, he was brave to dress up in drag, and he was a good businesswoman. I even emailed Ru to tell him about my son’s essay and got a response that he was sending the love right back to him. My son (who is now 16) doesn’t know it, but we are doing a meet and greet this summer with the queens who are touring with Michelle Visage for Battle of the Seasons. He is going to lose his mind when he finds out!
Awesome! Another great parent! 💚💚💚
I am sooo jealous of you son!! “Officially!!” Lol. Seriously though, you are just an awesome parent.
We were watching this last night too!
looove you for doing this with him!!