My Son Reviews Looks From 2017 Oscars

(All photo creds go to: E! Entertainment)

screen-shot-2017-02-28-at-12-59-01-pmEmma Stone: LOVE. The end of it is the best part because it is fringe-y. I really liked La La Land. The music was the best. If I talked to the person who made that mistake at the end of the Oscars, I would say “Get it right, girlfriend.” Emma Stone looked the best out of everyone.

Raphaela Neihausen: That is a toddler’s dress.

Karlie Kloss: I like the cape. Capes always look cool. I would enjoy using my markers and coloring on that dress.

Jessica Biel: No, no, no, no, no. That didn’t look right to me. That dress reminds me of a video game that won’t load all the way. That necklace is too much for that dress.

screen-shot-2017-02-28-at-12-59-36-pmOctavia Spencer: The bottom of her dress is like feathers waving at me and I say “Hey, gurl, hey” to those feathers.

Brie Larson: I like it because the bottom looks like a mysterious top hat.

Dakota Johnson: Ugh. I don’t event want to talk about that one.

Janelle Monae: That top. Everyone can see her nipples. Then there is the bottom. The bottom is like two dresses at the same time and she only needed one.

Halle Berry: The top is like Halloween and the bottom is like the water in Hawaii. She needs to get her hair under control. But sometimes I need to get my hair under control, so you can’t blame her that it’s like that. Trust me.

screen-shot-2017-02-28-at-1-05-47-pmRyan Gosling: He’s my favorite boy. I like the ruffles on his shirt a lot. Most boys don’t have that. The boys have the easy way in life. They just pick a tuxedo and go to the party.

Ginnifer Goodwin: No dress should ever have a turtleneck.

Alicia Vikander: Her hair and makeup look like maybe she didn’t know she was going to the Oscars. But the rest of her knew. Obvi.

Blanca Blanco: It looks like she is wearing a duct tape dress. Someone help her now.

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About raisingmyrainbow

RaisingMyRainbow.com is a blog about the adventures in raising a fabulous, gender creative son.
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19 Responses to My Son Reviews Looks From 2017 Oscars

  1. justashine says:

    Loved reading this! 10/10 for sass!

  2. ryanfrenk says:

    Yas! C’mon CJ.

  3. Dreadlocks and Dandelions says:

    I live for CJ’s red carpet critiques.

  4. Cheryl S. says:

    I love reading CJ’s critiques. Just like last year I had to read them with another window open so I could google the dresses I didn’t remember. He has an amazing eye!

  5. I didn’t even watch the Oscars, but I would pay to be able to watch next year’s with C.J.!!

  6. Jeff H; says:

    A video game that wouldn’t load! I laughed so hard at that! It’s exactly what it looks like

  7. Michelle says:

    Someone help her now… his descriptions had me laughing out loud.

  8. bestpi says:

    ROTFLMGAO! Always love his critiques.

  9. Patricia says:

    I wish I could see the pics that go with these descriptions. I missed the oscars. Emma Stone’s dress is perfect on her. Guess you are going to be a clothing designer cause you are perfection!

    • I looked up the pics, and he is right on with each and every one! Oh, and the last one is not for the faint of heart – she had quite the wardrobe malfunction, which was NOT blurred in the images I saw. But I hope to Goddess CJ never critiques my fashion choices. Of course, I’ll never be at the Oscars so I think I’m pretty safe.

  10. mdaniels4 says:

    OMG. Too funny! Love the commentary. They are publish worthy for a fashion critique!

  11. CJ’s reviews were spot on. I had to go look up a bunch of the people because I missed the Oscars, and he nailed it.

  12. transkid says:

    Also, when is your next speaking engagement or gender conference attendance? Will you be at the Gender Spectrum conference in July?

  13. transkid says:

    I agree with most of CJ’s critiques. I loved Emma Stone’s dress the most as well, and I agree that Blanca needs to get it together. But Dakota Johnson’s dress was nice. Sorry, CJ.

  14. This put a smile on my face in a big way.

    CJ needs to join our watch party and toot/boot the red carpet like we did.

    XOX,
    Matt/Helena Handbag

  15. samatwitch says:

    What a great fashionista he is. What did he think of Viola Davis’s dress? I didn’t watch the red carpet and only skimmed the show, but her dress caught my eye every time I saw her.

  16. Sister Unity says:

    Hilarious! Completely agree on the otherwise brilliant Janelle Monae. CJs the only one I’ve heard nail the specific critique.

  17. Was CJ exposed to too a lot of Joan rivers! Lol! I think CJ would make a fantastic runway critic cause CJ knows best!

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