(All photo creds go to: E! Entertainment)
Emma Stone: LOVE. The end of it is the best part because it is fringe-y. I really liked La La Land. The music was the best. If I talked to the person who made that mistake at the end of the Oscars, I would say “Get it right, girlfriend.” Emma Stone looked the best out of everyone.
Raphaela Neihausen: That is a toddler’s dress.
Karlie Kloss: I like the cape. Capes always look cool. I would enjoy using my markers and coloring on that dress.
Jessica Biel: No, no, no, no, no. That didn’t look right to me. That dress reminds me of a video game that won’t load all the way. That necklace is too much for that dress.
Octavia Spencer: The bottom of her dress is like feathers waving at me and I say “Hey, gurl, hey” to those feathers.
Brie Larson: I like it because the bottom looks like a mysterious top hat.
Dakota Johnson: Ugh. I don’t event want to talk about that one.
Janelle Monae: That top. Everyone can see her nipples. Then there is the bottom. The bottom is like two dresses at the same time and she only needed one.
Halle Berry: The top is like Halloween and the bottom is like the water in Hawaii. She needs to get her hair under control. But sometimes I need to get my hair under control, so you can’t blame her that it’s like that. Trust me.
Ryan Gosling: He’s my favorite boy. I like the ruffles on his shirt a lot. Most boys don’t have that. The boys have the easy way in life. They just pick a tuxedo and go to the party.
Ginnifer Goodwin: No dress should ever have a turtleneck.
Alicia Vikander: Her hair and makeup look like maybe she didn’t know she was going to the Oscars. But the rest of her knew. Obvi.
Blanca Blanco: It looks like she is wearing a duct tape dress. Someone help her now.
Raising My Rainbow 
Loved reading this! 10/10 for sass!
Yas! C’mon CJ.
I live for CJ’s red carpet critiques.
I love reading CJ’s critiques. Just like last year I had to read them with another window open so I could google the dresses I didn’t remember. He has an amazing eye!
I didn’t even watch the Oscars, but I would pay to be able to watch next year’s with C.J.!!
A video game that wouldn’t load! I laughed so hard at that! It’s exactly what it looks like
Someone help her now… his descriptions had me laughing out loud.
ROTFLMGAO! Always love his critiques.
I wish I could see the pics that go with these descriptions. I missed the oscars. Emma Stone’s dress is perfect on her. Guess you are going to be a clothing designer cause you are perfection!
I looked up the pics, and he is right on with each and every one! Oh, and the last one is not for the faint of heart – she had quite the wardrobe malfunction, which was NOT blurred in the images I saw. But I hope to Goddess CJ never critiques my fashion choices. Of course, I’ll never be at the Oscars so I think I’m pretty safe.
Where dis you find pics? Just do a search? What a master!
OMG. Too funny! Love the commentary. They are publish worthy for a fashion critique!
CJ’s reviews were spot on. I had to go look up a bunch of the people because I missed the Oscars, and he nailed it.
Also, when is your next speaking engagement or gender conference attendance? Will you be at the Gender Spectrum conference in July?
I agree with most of CJ’s critiques. I loved Emma Stone’s dress the most as well, and I agree that Blanca needs to get it together. But Dakota Johnson’s dress was nice. Sorry, CJ.
This put a smile on my face in a big way.
CJ needs to join our watch party and toot/boot the red carpet like we did.
XOX,
Matt/Helena Handbag
What a great fashionista he is. What did he think of Viola Davis’s dress? I didn’t watch the red carpet and only skimmed the show, but her dress caught my eye every time I saw her.
Hilarious! Completely agree on the otherwise brilliant Janelle Monae. CJs the only one I’ve heard nail the specific critique.
Was CJ exposed to too a lot of Joan rivers! Lol! I think CJ would make a fantastic runway critic cause CJ knows best!