I love to get e-mails sharing stories like this….
My youngest son said that this was for girls. I used to say “uh-huh.” But, you have inspired me to tell him that, “it’s not JUST for girls…If you wanted this, I’d get it for you.” My son then said, “Well, it’s not for me.” — T
Raising My Rainbow has inspired some little change in one family? Well then, it has served its purpose. Let’s make this world a better place for our kids, no matter their orientation.
I heard “that’s for girls” way too often as a child.
I came across your blog a few weeks ago when I was linked to a post, and again today a good friend suggested another post and praised the site. While I am supposed to be getting ready to head to WeHo with some hot albeit much younger girls (I’m 55), I was caught up in reading all of your posts from the beginning. I am smiling a lot.
Kudos to you for your choice. Not your son’s, as he never had a choice, but yours. Raising a non-conforming child is extremely difficult, especially behind the Orange Curtain. The homophobia… and especially transphobia is almost as rampant (if not more so) than middle America. The thought that a parent would ‘let” their child be gay scares the willies out of most conservative parents.
Which is why I have my family. Until I was 53 I owned a male body and tried to be what society expected of me. There were no role models for me when I was a child and no support system for who I felt I was….. and for the most part there still isn’t. You see I am a ‘gay’ (read:lesbian) trans woman. Even in the community I get shut out of some things because I do not conform to what the public, even the LGB part of the public expects from me. I love women. Always have. But I have also related to and felt that I should have been a woman since a very early age. I just didn’t have a clue what to do about it. Massive depression finally made me admit who I was to myself finally and move forward rather than suicide.
How does this relate to my family? Well coming out after 26 years of marriage, I lost a wonderful ife. Not because she didn’t love me or I didn’t love her, but because she wasn’t a lesbian. And I couldn’t ask her to not be who she was. But I was able to keep my three wonderful sons’ All were 18+, and while there was an adjustment period, they adapted to Ali, and I like to think we have a good relationship.
But I also have a daughter….. She wasn’t born to me but came to me a year ago. Her family in Orange county, after sending her to straight camp, abusing her, telling her how evil she was. And then throwing her away to the streets. We found each other just before this and I took her in when they tossed her out. I treat her as the daughter she is. Welcome her girlfriend into the house and treat them as the loving couple they are. Children shouldn’t be thrown away for who they are, they should be loved and nourished.
This is what you are doing and I applaud you. It is unlikely that your child will ever need rescuing by someone like me, because you accept and understand that he (or perhaps she) needs to be themselves to be happy. Too many are lost.. to the streets, to drugs, to suicide. Your’s should not be one of them because of your love and acceptance.
And if your son turns out to be trans, I hope you understand as well. I have met quite a few parents that could handle their children being gay or lesbian, but not a trans man or trans woman. The stats for trans children are that over 50% attempt suicide. Because almost all (though not all) trans kids are rejected by their birth families.
Be safe and well and love your children for who they are.
I’d also suggest you add “I am J” by Cris Beam. She fostered a daughter who I know personally and is now a wonderful woman. And this book, while a young adult fiction piece is completely based in truth.
I´m pretty sure CJ and your blog are changing a lot of people´s view on gender issues!
I love this.
How wonderful! Making a change in one family is huge….love your blog and am so impressed …..keep on doing what you are doing. The world is ready…some may not realize it yet but they will get with the program.
That’s wonderful. ^_^