Another gift from Nana Grab Bags for Easter? A kite. Simple enough, right? Well, according to C.J. it is his “best gift forever.”
Good picture, C.J.'s Mom!
More impressive than that? C.J. has found his calling his life. He is a kite flying wunderkind.
As a kid, I could never get a kite to fly, the string became a knotted mess and I never, ever got liftoff. C.J. did not get his kite flying skills from me. Obviously. At one point the kid was standing still and the kite was reaching high altitudes.
Every day since Easter C.J. has flown his Little Mermaid kite. Today, at the baseball fields C.J. ran back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, with kite overhead. Two little girls asked each other why a…read the next word with a feeling of disgust…boy was flying an Ariel kite. Another 4-year-old boy approached C.J. expressly to inform him that he does not like Ariel.
C.J. ignored everybody and flew his kite high.
Raising My Rainbow 
I was hanging out with my 6 year old neighbour at the playground a couple of weeks ago. She’s a girly girl (ALWAYS in a dress, not seldom a princess one) with lots of attitude, not a little bit bossy but also very sweet. I love her to bits. Up to the older children comes a little asian boy, around 18-24 months, looks quietly at the play,, clutching a glittering purse (that might or might not belonging to his elder sis who was also around). Not at all sure if he understands English, since we have a lot nationalities in the area, I tell him
-Hi there! That’s a very pretty purse you have!
cue 6yr old
-He can’t have a purse!
-Why?
-Because he’s a BOY (with duh-voice)
-Well, yes, he is a boy and he is having a purse, so obviously he can have a purse!
I’m pretty sure she didn’t understand it but I was so so sad for the rest of the day. I don’t think the boy grasped any of it, but regardless, I really do think it’s important to correct kids when they say things like that, much like you would correct them when they tell someone they are fat or ugly. What do you do when children say “you can not play this game with us because you are fat or you are black or you are a boy?”
children grow up in one of the most cutthroat environments – kids are mean! and usually fall into such a gendered view of the world – usually due to some seriously bad parenting that reinforces, primarily, two things:
1) that boys and girls are different and like opposite things – this is oppositional sexism
2) that what boys like is generally better than what girls like – this is traditional sexism, and manifests in subtle ways in the west – for example, girls are encouraged to do traditionally boyish activities – i won’t call them ‘male’ activities because that’s stupid (nothing about having an x-y chromosome and a penis makes you ‘think’ a certain way that is supposedly similar to all people with an xy in their genome and a penis). Girls are, in recent times, encouraged to do things like play sports and learn technological skills and things like that only because it’s seen as empowering – and perhaps they are. They are also encouraged to do things that are traditionally ‘boyish’. but boys are NEVER encouraged or even allowed (i hesitate using these words – you were spot on in your commentary about encouraging/allowing, and I don’t care what you call it, what you’ve done with your son is to raise him right – not that you need my validation for it!) – at any rate, boys are never given the freedom of expression in such a regimented society to participate in traditionally girlish activities -this is in part because girlish activities/girl interests are seen as weak, cowardly, inferior, and something that a boy, someone in a position of privilege, wouldn’t want to get himself into.
it is sad.
But your C.J. honestly is so lucky to have you as his mum and to learn to ignore/stand up for his rights. eventually I’m sure he’ll learn to arm himself with the proper terms and vocabulary, when the time comes, to really take on the world if he so wishes. 🙂 I wish you and your family the best. And please, please do keep writing! I’m devouring these articles and appreciating what you, an adult living in this gendered world, are doing.
Your postings remind me of my son at that age. Now he stages furniture and buys items for displays and loves his job. Keep on posting. I enjoy them…
Fly High, C.J. I hope you’re confidence and sense of self remains forever!
Go CJ for sticking to his guns and Disney Princess. Poo-poo to the little girls who were so very obviously jealous. Maybe they can’t fly kites either?
CJ is a confident lil boy and that will be something that always comes to his aide in life. He will be less likely to fall when things like peer pressure come barreling at him and I think it’s great. I’ve been reading your blog for a week or so now and you are a wonderful mom.
Way to go CJ! Ignore the naysayers, the conformists, the boxed in thinkers and LIVE!
Probably just liked Aurora more. *Executive decision to stay in my world were everyone is nice thank you.*
Fly high Ariel. Fly high. 🙂
…adult attitudes already in the mouths of babes…