I’ve missed you. I hope that you had a rad Thanksgiving and Black Friday.
To be honest, our school bathroom issue has been weighing heavy on my heart and mind. C.J. and Chase both had the week off from school. I was super thankful for that. We needed a break.
I hope you know that I’m also thankful for you. I love this little online community that we have here. More very soon, Lori
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“For some people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender holidays mean celebration, joy, family and togetherness. But for others it can mean a time of stress, difficulty and even sadness or depression…especially if one feels that they aren’t able to come out or are not out to everyone in the family. Sitting through a family meal can be challenging enough, but what happens if you are not yet in a position to be true to your authentic self as you make your way through the meal?”
Here are some suggestions from PFLAG — both for people who are LGBT and allies – for getting through the end-of-year family celebrations unscathed!
Click here to learn more about navigating family at holiday time…
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This Friday I’ll be speaking at California State University, Fullerton’s LGBT Symposium at 11:30 a.m..
“The purpose of the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity symposium is to bring together a series of expert panelists and speakers to address issues of inequities within the LGBT community and share their expertise with the local and extended community. We invite all student affairs professionals, educators, graduate students, faculty, administrators, and community members to attend this educational symposium. The symposium titled “Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity: On Your Campus and in Your Classroom,” will be held on December 6, 2013 to address the educational concerns of the LGBTQ community.”
Click here to learn more about the event.
Lori I’m a teacher and what makes me angry about this whole bathroom situation is that the school is looking at it as though it is an issue because of who CJ is. The real issues are the students who are bullying and using inappropriate bathroom behavior. This could be a real learning opportunity for everyone. I’ve been in restrooms and had little kids walking along looking through the cracks and the mother did nothing. I had to address the mother. If as part of their school or classroom meetings they addressed the issue as part of all the bathroom/health expectations such as covering mouth when coughing, washing hands before eating, after bathrooming, privacy of self etc. then it gives the students the language and permission to speak up. If the boys continued, they should lose the privilege of the convenient bathroom and be made to use the nurses bathroom since they have lost the trust of adults. Who else are they terrorizing? And I don’t use that word lightly. Bullies or a pack rarely stop with harassing just one child. Let’s help those kiddos to be better social citizens. Take care and I pray the school addresses it responsibly and not just hush hush.
OH Lori, I have been trying to get my head around your bathroom post. Surely the school can come up with a better solution. I am so sad for CJ & you. You are right going to the bathroom should be the easiest part of his day! I do know though you will “take the bull by the horn” & work on finding a way over this hurdle. SO many hurdles along the way, but with the love, support, & educating those that don’t get it you & Matt will conquer all the obstacles before your family. As always sending caring thoughts–there are no words to thank you for the positive impact you are having on so many.
What a trying and emotionally draining situation sweet CJ and his whole family find themselves in…wish there was something to be done to make life just a little easier for my fellow red headed friend. Sending love n squeezes.
Just wanted to give you a heads up on a FANTASTIC gift for CJ for the holidays…have you heard of it? GoldieBlox. Great gift geared at girls to encourage them to become engineers. It’s purple and pink and SUPER!! http://www.goldieblox.com/
Do a little shopping…help out a small business and and bring a smile to CJ’s face!!
That is the coolest thing ever. I will probably get this for my niece for Christmas.
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I do not face the same challenges you do, but my heart goes out to you as you try to clear a path for your son in this stressful area. I don’t know if this has been suggested before, but would it make sense for you to address the students, as a whole, in the school he attends? I guess that would be mortifying for your sons, but on another level, maybe give their friends a better understanding, and blast through some of the haze of misinformation or misunderstanding they have in regards to your little boy.
A belated Thanksgiving to you, too. I have a niece who turned 11 a few months ago. For her entire life, she’s always said that she’s a boy. But lately, she’s decided to grow her hair out. It’s interesting that with the beginnings of the hormone rise, she may be starting to swing to feeling more like a girl. Because my brother and his family live in a foreign country, we only get to see them about once a year. It will be interesting next summer to see where my nice is at. Fortunately, no matter how she feels, she’s in a very loving and supportive family.
I am very thankful for you and your words of wisdom. I hope things change with the bathroom scenario at school. xoxox
Have you heard of http://www.yourholidaymom.com/ ? Some of your readers might be interested this time of year and perhaps you could be a contributor. It is a collection of letters to lgtbqa people who may be going home to unsupportive families. It’s a beautiful project.
Glad CJ and all of you got some time off from the difficult school situation. I really hope that effective changes can be made soon. Sending lots of good wishes to all of you. Thank you for sharing your story and being a voice for gender non-conforming kids & their families. You make a big impact educating people through your blog, book, and interviews and you also give strength to those of us in similar situations.
Wish I could share some of your burden…
My daughter and her partner made it through Thanksgiving with the entire family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and significant others) this year…without any snide remarks or bloodshed! We consider it a successful holiday. Now on to Christmas, with the other side of the family…:)
Lori, please let us know if there is anything we can do (So. OC PFLAG Group & OCEC) to assist you with this. Perhaps we could bring in a small group to meet with the principal/district? We have been doing this with the asst. super. in CUSD and there has been much progress. This particular situation is a very difficult one obviously so perhaps some education and brainstorming by CJ, the principal and a district rep could be helpful?
Love to you too, Lori. Have a superb holiday season.