I’m The Dad Of A Boy Who Loves Drag Queens

The day after Halloween, Matt posted a short essay to Huffington Post about Bob The Drag Queen surprising C.J. and trick-or-treating with him. Following is the not-as-short, unabridged version. I think Matt is the best father ever, but I’m a little partial. Xoxo, Lori

This year when I asked my son what he wanted to be for Halloween his answer surprised me. Too be perfectly honest, most of the things that come out of my 9-year-old’s mouth surprise me. So why would this answer be any different?

“I’m going to be Bob The Drag Queen! Bob is my hero!”

img_4995Since C.J. discovered and became obsessed with RuPaul’s Drag Race seven months ago, I’ve made it a point to sit down with him and watch it. It’s not one of my favorite shows, but that doesn’t matter to me. He loves it; and because he loves it, I sit with him and feign interest. I tell him I like the drag queens he likes and I love the dresses he loves. I’m sure he knows that if I had my choice I would be watching a football or baseball game, but he also knows that I’ll sit next to him on the couch, watch episode after episode and get excited when he gets excited.

Parenting a child like C.J. has it challenges and struggles but he always knows he is loved and supported by his dad. Both of my boys know they are loved for who they are, exactly the way they are.

C.J.’s heroes and interests are vastly different than mine were at his age. When I was 9 years old, my world revolved around football and baseball. I dreamed of playing both sports professionally.

My heroes were professional athletes who excelled in their sport and my gender nonconforming son’s hero is a strong, confident, race winning drag queen.

I never got to meet my heroes. But, last night, C.J. got to meet his. Once he got over the initial shock, he started crying happy tears. And I did too.

img_4996Bob The Drag Queen has proven to be a person worth admiring. After reading my wife’s essay about our son dressing up as him for Halloween, Bob rearranged his schedule, worked until the early morning and then flew across the country to trick or treat with my son. I couldn’t thank him enough, even though I tried for most of the night.

People have asked me how I can let my son have a drag queen for a hero and dress up as one for Halloween.

I point out that my hero when I was 9 years old was Raiders football defensive end Lyle Alzado. Alzado went on to admit he illegally used anabolic steroids throughout his career and ended up dying of brain cancer he said was caused by abusing steroids. My baseball hero was “Charlie Hustle” himself, Pete Rose. The same Pete Rose who has been permanently banned from baseball and the Hall of Fame for illegally placing bets on games while playing and coaching. The men who were my heroes as a kid turned out to be cheaters. Would idolizing a professional athlete be better than idolizing a drag queen? I don’t think so – but it would make a lot of people feel more comfortable. My job is not to make other people feel comfortable; my job is to make my son feel comfortable. And loved, strong, confident and important.

Last night I watched Bob do my son’s makeup, fix his wig and hold his hand as they trick or treated together. They smiled and laughed the whole time. They were in a world of their own. I got to follow behind them, soak it all in and hold purses and jackets as needed.

It was the best night of my son’s life and it was one of mine, too. Thank you, Bob.


About raisingmyrainbow

RaisingMyRainbow.com is a blog about the adventures in raising a fabulous, gender creative son.
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37 Responses to I’m The Dad Of A Boy Who Loves Drag Queens

  1. Will Seeley says:

    What a BEAUTIFUL world we would live in if there were more people like Matt and Lori, AND C.J. in it!
    MOST awesome!
    With love,

  2. Will Seeley says:

    I only could have dreamed of having parents as supportive and loving as you two are to C.J., he is the luckiest young man in the world! It just warms my heart to see the love you have for your children!
    The world would be a MUCH BETTER place with more people like you in it! ❤

  3. Ally says:

    My heros are parents like Matt and Lori. I loved the video of CJ meeting Bob! CJ is such a beautiful child.

  4. Sharon says:

    You brought tears to my eyes. This is so sweet. You guys are awesome parents.

  5. Makes me appreciate the love, support and pride my retired minister/farmer father has for me, his bi son. Dads can be the best wish everyone had a dad as cool as mine and C.J’s!

  6. Emma says:

    This is such an inspirational story and that your giving your child the freedom to be who they are ❤️️

  7. Louise says:

    My wife just showed me this which is why this is from her account. We have four adults now. We always put them first. Harry Potter night when there was a great game on, for example.. Your story was the ultimate. As we get older we realize that we are all just people on the earth doing the best we can. You are certainly teaching that – to be who you are and the best you can be.

  8. …And you are one of my heros.

  9. This is so important. I had a really hard time with my sexuality back in high school, and my dad ended up being the best support. Probably seven years ago, he used to watch Pretty Little Liars with me and really follow the storyline of the queer character. Sounds stupid, but it made me feel like he was engaged and invested just as I was.

    Your son will remember those moments for the rest of his life, I promise!!

  10. Alex says:

    What a beautiful story thank you for sharing. Wish I had a dad like you!!!!

  11. wilson says:

    how awesome is this family? accepting their son the way he is and making sure he is accepted, loved and important…just the way he is. i’m so happy that he got to meet bob. i’ve always been a fan of bob, but what he did was so incredibly amazing! much love to your beautiful family.

  12. Troy says:

    That is a parent worth being proud of !!!! FANTASTIC

  13. Scott Hope says:

    I am so happy to hear kids have parents like this. I wish I had that as a child growing up gay and alone was very hard for me. I just love you for this treatment, thank you, with tears in my eyes.

  14. Ross Cassidy says:

    That was so deeply touching and beautiful. You are an inspiration!!!!

  15. Dodie says:

    Awesome people! Thanks dad and mom and Bob for letting CJ know he is loved!

  16. TransKid says:

    Do you have the Huffington Post link? Btw, awesome as always.

  17. Jennifer says:

    You are a really special kind of father. It is easy to have predestined plans & dreams for our kids. It is very uncomfortable to realize that they have determined their own path which had nothing to do with what we were expecting. Your story is very profound to me. I am living a very similar story to yours. I sit with my daughter and discuss subjects that were not part of “the plan”. Yet, I love her so much, I support her heart, her dreams, her idols. Regardless if that would have been my first choice is irrelevant. She is happy & accepts who she is 100%, so I too embrace that happy and love her 110%. But it’s all new territory for us parents. It’s not what we were expecting so it can occasionally feel uncomfortable for us. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story! You help the rest of us parents stay the path of unconditionally loving our children & their paths, even when it feels a little out of out comfort zone!

  18. i literally just cried my face off. I absolutely adore this family!

  19. Just so awww! Love it!

  20. David A Morse says:

    I love your posts. I can’t imagine a better or more compassionate dad for CJ. You are a star. I remember your earlier post where you imagined a nightmare in which CJ became gender conforming and enjoyed things other boys did and you asked, “Where is my son?” I also fondly remember the Disney Land princesses parade incident. You wanted to share CJ’s excitement as he watched the princesses go past alone. You are a role model for dads.

  21. Jo says:

    I love this Matt! Beautifully expressed. Tears of joy for 100% love and acceptance in having a son who is different in many ways from the boy you were– you both had role models! Excellent point about the cheating sports stars you looked up to. The fact that Bob flew across the country to trick or treat with C.J.– just wow. What a stellar human being; someone to look up to and admire. I loved the ABC newscaster’s opening remarks “A Halloween hero whose superpowers include the fearlessness to be yourself no matter what.” I think this applies to Bob, C.J., and both you and Lori. (Chase too!) That’s what it’s all about, right? Because being who you want to be in this world matters. Lots of love from Jo Hadley at Handsome in Pink

  22. Susan says:

    Awwwww….so, so sweet!

  23. Chip says:

    Seriously?!?! I am all out of tears, please stop!!

    Honestly though, thank you, both of you, for being the most amazing parents. Never stop doing what you are doing, and showing the true, unconditional love you continue to show to both your sons. You are an incredible father, and Lori is an amazing mother. Thank you.

  24. DBesson says:

    And crying again. You guys are wonderful people. Thank you for letting us see into your lives!

  25. What a great family CJ has—his parents, brother, uncle, everyone.

  26. Carrie Pratt says:

    This could not have been written better. What a perfect perfect father. You and Lori are wonderful parents. Keep up the “perfect” work. Bravo!!!💜💜

  27. Bexiclekitten says:

    sitting here trying not to cry, you sir are a most awesome dad

  28. Beautifully stated. You are giving your son an incredibly gift, and you are your son’s true hero! ❤

  29. Dan Woog says:

    Dad of the Year. Hands down. No contest. Game over.

  30. bestpi says:

    From all of us who would have LOVED to have a caring dad, Thanks so very much.

  31. Holly says:

    Thank you for being an awesome dad! The abity to see your child as the person they are rather then the one you expect them to be, (besides loved and safe) is lost on most people.

  32. Liz says:

    This made me cry, you Sir are one amazing dad!

  33. Cathy Loring says:

    I love you guys…my grandson went this year as a pink fairy, complete with sparkle wings…he was SO CUTE. Oh, and I love Drag Queens too 🙂

  34. gtrac says:

    You, for lack of a better word, awesome. I love you and your beautiful family.

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